Friday, 1 December 2023

The Disappointment that is Achim-Haetsal

After watching Mr Z drinking and enjoying some Achim-Haetsal (a Korean Morning Rice Drink) on the Korean Englishman YouTube channel, the Domestic Goblin wanted to find a bottle to taste test.

This was easy to find in any good reputable Asian supermarket. Disappointingly, it tasted like chocolate milk with a rice aroma. It reminded the Domestic Goblin of the cloudy water you pour away after rinsing the rice.

Verdict: Far too sweet and milky, and not enough rice flavour in the actual drink. Children might enjoy this.

Will not recommend and will not repurchase.

Clara Is Snoring

Colour my wings like yours
And I’ll fly to you,
Soft as silk and lighter than air,
Teach me to glide,
If I can float at your side
There will be no-one as happy as I
Butterfly!

Swallowtail, Tortoise Shell, Grayling too
Painted Lady, Skipper, large and small
Meadow Brown, Red Admiral and Holly Blue
Camberwell Beauty and all

Winter lights, shimmer bright
And shine upon the peaceful scene below.
Winter lights on this winter night
Illuminate and set the world a-glow.

Christmas come now and fill us with love
Bring your spirit of grace from above
Christmas come let your hope be restored

A la nanita nana, nanita ella, nanita ella
Mi Jesus tiene sueƱo, bendito sea, bendito sea

Shine, advent candle shine,
Advent candle, candle shine.





Choir practise autumn 2023

Beauty of Joseon

In January 2023, after hearing Dr Dray talking about the Korean skincare brand 'Beauty of Joseon' in one of her YouTube videos, the Domestic Goblin purchased some of their products and her thoughts are below.


~ Revive Eye Serum: Ginseng and Retinal
Works better as all over face moisturiser in the evening. Will not repurchase.


~ Relief Sun: Rice + Probiotic SPF50+ PA++++
Does the job. Useful handbag size for travelling. Will not repurchase unless offered in larger bottle sizes. 


~ Radiance Cleansing Balm
Does the job. Would be better if it came in a squeezable tube. Will repurchase in its current tub form, nonetheless.

Wednesday, 1 November 2023

Venom

 Translucent glass, like unpolished diamond 

Hiding its contents

Shaped like a snake

A scent as old as the insides of pyramids

A scent as old as dark and unforgiving as the death of Kings

Eau de Athletes Foot



* A found poem composed by the Domestic Goblin in May 2023. Inspired by The Perfume written by Caroline B. Cooney *

Forever Summer

Ideal world inhabited by the chef
Lyrical insistence

Summer, a hopeful projection
Extending that purring sense of sunny expansiveness

Summer food
Ideas hungrily mooted

Slut Red Raspberries in Chardonnay Jelly



* A found poem composed by the Domestic Goblin in August 2023 - inspired by Nigella Lawson *


Paint Jobs

Daffodil White
Timeless Chalky
Elephants Breath
October Mist
Burnt Lilac
Amalfi Grimace 
Toasted Plum
Hale Navy

Bonus colour:
Sandbar White 
(To suppress all creative thought and hide the asbestos)


* Colour names taken from various sources *

Sunday, 1 October 2023

Grannie Perkins' Thinking Cap

Grannie Perkins lives in Sunshine Place.

In her cupboard was a beautifully carved wooden box with lovely birds flying over the lid and the sides were alive with little woodland animals.



Squirrels peeped out from the trees and a rabbit looked out from its burrow. There were badgers, and hedgehogs, and little mice, and all manner of tiny creatures carved all round the sides.

By pressing the rabbit's tail, the lid flies open.

Sat on a red satin cushion was her thinking cap.

It was made of white lace and had a black velvet bow on the front.



Old black hat

~ It had a red ribbon round it
~ A bunch of cherries on the front
~ A piece of veil tied in a bow at the back


Grannie Perkins' Fair

~ Darts in the wood shed
~ Old tyre swing
~ Knotted climbing rope
~ Bobbing for apples floating on top of a bucket of water
~ Hooking toy animals out of the bath
~ Trampoline
~ Prizes: Toffee apples


Grannie Perkins' Christmas with Mr Stanton 

Roast chicken for two
Brown and crispy roast potatoes
Boiled vegetables
Christmas pudding
Mince pies
Wine


Present for Mr Stanton: Ounce of tobacco wrapped in red paper.

Presents from her family in Australia: a box of candied fruits, scented soap, coloured photographs of her grandchildren and a warm woolly cardigan in a pretty shade of lilac.

Present from Mr Stanton: a lovely woollen scarf in a pretty shade of blue.


* Information derived from Grannie Perkins' Thinking Cap, written by J. Rita Grainge and June Woodman. Illustrated by R. V. Mee *

Se7en

Evening imprinting:
L'instant de Guerlain by Guerlain
Scarlet Poppy by Jo Malone
Onyx by ATH


Overall joyfulness:
Cloud by Ariana Grande
English Pear & Freesia by Jo Malone


Summer / office safe:
Au The Vert by Bvlgari


Gender subversion:
Sartorial by Penhaligons 

Queen Victoria's State Banquet

Osborne House
Saturday 6th February 1897
Her Majesty's Dinner


Potage
Tyrolienne Ć  la Royale

Poisson
Le Saumon sauce homard
Les Merlans frits

EntrƩes
Les Friandises de Poisson
Cailles a la FinaneiĆØre

RĆ“tis
Les Pintades

Entremets
La Chicore au SuprĆØme
Baignets d’Epinal
Mont Blanc de Marrons






Friday, 1 September 2023

National Anthems

Abridged version of God Save The King! (1745)

God save our gracious King,
Long live our noble King,
God save the King!
Send him victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us,
God save the King!

Thy choicest gifts in store,
On he be pleased to pour,
Long may he reign!
May he defend our laws,
And ever give us cause,
To sing with heart and voice,
God save the King!

(The de facto National Anthem of the United Kingdom and 
British Crown Dependencies)



Glory to Hong Kong (English lyrics)

We pledge: No more tears on our land
In wrath, doubts dispell'd we make our stand
Arise! Ye who would not be slaves again
For Hong Kong, may Freedom reign
Though deep is the dread that lies ahead
Yet still with our faith on we tread
Let blood rage afield! Our voice grows evermore
For Hong Kong, may Glory reign
Stars may fade as darkness fills the air
Through the mist a solitary trumpet flares
Now, to arms! For Freedom we fight with all might we strike
With valour, wisdom both, we stride
Break now the dawn, liberate our Hong Kong
In common breath: Revolution of our times
May people reign, proud and free, now and evermore
Glory be to thee Hong Kong.
(This should be the official National Anthem of Hong Kong
 rather than March of the Volunteers which they adopted 
from the People's Republic of China after the handover 
in 1997)



America The Beautiful (1911)

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!


O beautiful for pilgrim feet,
Whose stern, impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!


O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine,
Till all success be nobleness,
And every gain divine!


O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood.


(In Domestic Goblin's humble opinion, this song should
 be America's National Anthem rather than Star 
Spangled Banner).



Matcha Green Tea Dark Chocolate with French Grey Sea Salt

Food featured on Always Be My Maybe

~ Kimchi-jiggae.

~ Meat course of venison sous vide that plays with the concept of time. It comes with headphones so you can hear the sound of the exact animal you are about to consume, illustrating nature's life to death cycle.

~ Micro greens and lettuces encapsulated and served with dehydrated seaweed and dried fish flakes (what Marcus calls fish food). 

~ The body of the fish is lightly scaled as it swims collecting the particles that sheds into the ocean (what Marcus calls fish dandruff).

~ Clear asparagus soup extracted with a centrifuge.

~ All black monochrome course.

~ The flavour of Caeser salad.

~ Crystallised lavender sugar bubbles prepared by Wallace.


"The only stars that matter are the ones you look at when you dream..."

How an Experimental Physicist asks another Experimental Physicist out

According to Sheldon, Leslie Winkle shaved her legs in winter thus signaling sexual availability.

Leonard proposes an experiment to Leslie:

A bio-social exploration with a neuro-chemical overlay. (In layman's terms: let's study the changes in the brain that occur when a human man and woman interact with each other).

Characterized as the modification of our colleague/friendship paradigm with the addition of a date-like component.

The generally accepted pattern in this area: I pick you up, take you to a restaurant, then we would see a movie. Probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock. 

It was agreed that the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be on the biochemical reaction during the goodnight kiss. Heart rate, pheromones etc.

Leslie proposes stipulating that the date goes well and move to the key variable.

Kiss each other now.

Leslie defines the parameters of the kiss: closed mouth but romantic.

Leslie presents her findings: it was a good kiss, reasonable technique, no extraneous spittle. On the other hand, no arousal.

Leonard: we tried kissing but the earth didn't move.

S01:E03



Leslie runs into Leonard and the gang at the Cheesecake Factory and tells him that the Physics Department string quartet needs a new cellist after Elliott Wong switched over to high-energy radiation research, had a little mishap and now the other guys are uncomfortable sitting next to him. After Leonard agrees to join the string quartet, he is informed that they will rehearse on Tuesdays at his place after the Department of Energy said their regular rehearsal spot is kind of a hot zone.

During rehearsal, Leslie sees Leonard handling that beautiful piece of wood between his legs (obvious crude double entendre) and starts flirting with Leonard in an attempt to seduce him:

~ I admire your fingering
~ Maybe sometime you can try that on my instrument

After rehearsal ends and the other two players leave Leonard's apartment, Leslie hangs back and offers to practise that middle section again as a pretext for letting Leonard know that she is sexually available.

Musical foreplay.

After spending a great night together, Leslie doesn't appear to be interested in dating and rather uses men as tools for stress release.

S01:E05



In the Caltech cafeteria, Leslie approaches Leonard after she heard that his relationship with Penny crashed to the ground like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory.

Now that Leonard is unattached, Leslie proposes revisiting their previous attachment.

Leslie explains that she is all done with casual sex and is fully committed to the traditional relationship paradigm.

Leslie suggests they proceed by going to Leonard's place; order Chinese takeaway; rent a movie, artsy but accessible then light petting, no coitus. 

Leslie says it's better for Leonard to assume the male role and will leave the details to him.

Whilst eating orange chicken from Chang's, Leslie asks Leonard how many children he thinks they should have and what genetic weaknesses run in his family (shortness, lactose intolerance, male pattern baldness).

They agree to postpone intercourse until their relationship is past the initial viability test.

Leslie reminds Leonard that protocol dictates that he waits a minimum of 18 hours before calling so that she is not repulsed by his cloying eagerness.

During Leonard and Leslie's second date, an argument ensues between Leslie and Sheldon. Leslie strongly believes that only loop quantum gravity calculates the entropy of black holes. Sheldon believes that string theory and that matter clearly consists of tiny strings.

Leslie asks Leonard whether he agrees that loop quantum gravity is the future of physics.

Leonard says he prefers his space stringy, not loopy.

Even though they are talking about untested hypotheses and whilst Leslie could have accepted their kids being genetically unable to eat ice-cream or ever get a good view of a parade, but Leonard not agreeing with her theory is a deal breaker. 

S02:E02



Whilst seeking shelter in the paintball shed, Leslie and Howard Wolowitz start a 'friends with benefits' arrangement whereby Leslie controls Howard with new expensive equipment and research trips in exchange for sex. In other words, Howard is a bought and paid for sex toy and arm candy.

Leslie got grant approval for a rapid prototyper for Howard.

Leslie also got Howard onto the research trip to Geneva to check out the CERN super collider in exchange for Howard accompanying her to her sister's black tie wedding.

S02:E16



Leslie dumps Howard over the phone: "Howard, Mama's a rolling stone."

Howard has an emotional response when he was meant to be in a non-emotional relationship. Howard obviously had feelings for Leslie because he saw her naked.

S02:E21



After a drunken and lonely Penny uses Leonard for a one-off night of sex and walks out on him, Leonard goes to Leslie's apartment (18 months after they stopped dating) and suggests they start having recreational, meaningless sex again for a bit of fun.

Leslie says to let her think about it and slams the door on Leonard.

S03:E23


Tuesday, 1 August 2023

Ron Swanson presents Pawnee Today

How Ron avoids a hangover after drinking too much whiskey: cook a large flank steak panfried in salted butter. Eat that and put on a pair of wet socks and go to sleep.


Ron's other interests: woodworking, novels about tall ships, meat.


Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.


Grapes of Wrath, chocolate chip ice-cream and Johnny Cash.


Don't trust big banks or small banks. Banks are Ponzi schemes run by morons.


Your house isn't haunted, you're lonely.


Three movies that Ron has seen: Bridge on the River Kwai, Patton and Herbie Fully Loaded.




* Quotes taken from from Parks and Recreation *

The Makanai

Food featured in The Makanai - Cooking for the Maiko House

~ Nabekko Dango
Rice flour dumplings in red bean soup.

~ Yaki Imo
Baked sweet potato.

~ Cold somen noodles.

~ Japanese Tomato Curry.

~ Oyakodon
Chicken and egg rice bowl.

~ Onigiri
Japanese rice balls.

~ Japanese breakfast
Steamed rice, miso soup, protein, pickles and other side dishes.

~ Umeboshi
Japanese pickled plums.

~ Pan pudding
Japanese milk and bread pudding.

~ Madelaines in mini tart form

~ Agebitashi
Stewed eggplant (aubergine).

~ Tempura mushrooms, lotus root and sweet potatoes.

~ Korroke
Japanese croquettes.

~ Karaage
Japanese fried chicken.

~ White cream stew.

~ Amazake
Traditional sweet Japanese drink made with fermented rice.

~ Fruit Sando
Japanese fruit sandwich.

~ Ozoni
Japanese new year mochi soup.

~ Kakimochi
Rice crackers.

Kyoto-style kitsune udon.

~ Kaki Fry
Fried oyster.

~ Tonjiru
Pork and vegetable miso soup.

~ Shokupan Crust rusks.

~ Tamago Sando
Egg sandwich.








Ron Swanson vs Food

~ Ron's reaction when served a salad at a wedding reception: Is a gerbil marrying a rabbit?

~ According to Ron, Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse. The best damn steakhouse in the whole damn state.

~ Dear Frozen Yoghurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice-cream or nothing. Zero stars.

~ Veganism is the result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life.

~ What a turkey burger should have consisted of: a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger.

~ Q: Do you have a history of mental illness in your family?
A: I have an uncle who does yoga.

~ Clear alcohol are for rich women on diets.

~ Turkey can never beat cow.

~ There is one thing I hate more than lying: skimmed milk. Which is water lying about being milk.

~ Bacon wrapped shrimp: Ron's number 1 favourite food wrapped around his number 3 favourite food.

~ You had me at meat tornado.




* Information taken from various episodes of 'Parks and Recreation' *


Saturday, 1 July 2023

Happy People Use Perfume

The Domestic Goblin only discovered the house of Teo Cabanel in February 2023 via perfume loving members of the YouTube community.

In March 2023, DG decided to purchase and test out the Discovery Set and her thoughts are below...


~ Je Ne Sais Quoi
Smells more like steamed rice than the scent of toasted rice/savoury popcorn most commonly associated with gemaicha. 

~ Tres French
Generic green perfume scent.

~ Encore
All carrot and soy milk. No cake.

~ Et Voila
Musky soap.

~ Oh La La
DG appears to be anosmic to the notes.

~ Cafe Cabanel
Linear coconut latte.

~ Ca Boum
Salty and sweet.

~ Oha
Leather and oakmoss that lingers.

~ Rendezvous
Polite blossoms.

~ Alahine
Pink musk.

~ Kasar
Clove and patchouli domination.

~ Barkhane
Cumin and oud and nothing else.



Overall thoughts: Contrary to the YouTube reviews, the DG found the majority of their fragrances does not live up to the 'beast mode' claims. In reality, the projection and sillage is gentle and disappointingly, the scent itself disappears after a couple of hours. 

Alas! Due to longevity issues and lack of the joy factor, the DG won't be purchasing full sized bottles of any of these scents.

This such a shame because the customer service team at Teo Cabanel are quick to respond and helpful! 



===


Ode To Autumn by John Keats

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o'er-brimm'd their clammy cells.

~

Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap'd furrow sound asleep,
Drows'd with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cyder-press, with patient look,
 Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.

~

Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
 Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,—
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.

~






* Information and images from Wikipedia *