Fictional Items...

In continuation of a much earlier post, wouldn't it be great if...


Rhosgobel Rabbits really existed.
Even though this was an entirely original concept of the film, any creature that can out-run a pack of wargs is good enough for me, especially when travelling through Middle Earth.


If the Sting was a real dagger.
Found and used by Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit and gifted to Frodo Baggins in The Lord of The Rings. Forged by the elves of Gondolin in the First Age and had the magical ability to glow blue when orcs or goblins were nearby/present.


The Higher Common Sense by Abbé Fausse-Maigre was a real book.
A handbook owned by the character Flora Poste, in the novel Cold Comfort Farm.


The microwave from the film The Fifth Element was real.
Creates full sized meals with dinner pellets within seconds. Fast food at its best.


The textbook entitled Advanced Potion Making written by Libatius Borage from Harry Potter was available for purchase as merchandise.
Who wouldn't want to be an accomplished witch/wizard?

Words/Phrases of the Day

A list of words uttered by my favourite people:

~ Cantankerous

~ Obstreperous

~ Verisimilitude

~ Opprobrious

~ Nugatory

~ Hewing the wood and drawing the water.

~ Herding cats

I prefer...

~ Rooibos tea
~ Raw sugar
~ Lush Bubble Bars
~ Ribeye steak
~ Soft boiled eggs
~ Apricot jam
~ Greengage jam
~ Toyota Yaris
~ Steamed lobster
~ Eyebrow threading
~ Elderflower cordial
~ Lilies
~ Classic White Bathrobe from The White Company
~ Black Forest Cherry Gateau
~ Belgian Flaked Truffles
~ Ribena
~ Levi Jeans
~ Cereals: Crunchy Nut Cornflake; Raisin Wheats, Rice Krispies
~ Purple Superberry Juice from The Berry Company
~ Lemon Mousse Cheesecake from Waitrose
~ French mustard
~ Harris Tweed
~ Zoffany Nureyev Navarre wallpaper in Dark Chocolate - living room
~ Sanderson Options 10 Finches wallpaper in Duck Egg - hallway

~ Chinese watercress soup; Chinese coconut and chicken soup
~ Black Knight pencils 


* This list is subject to change at any time *

From the Mouth of Jeeves

"Distressingly wilful" - (describing his walk with Aunt Agatha's dog).

"Pardon me for asking sir, but are you proposing to appear in public in those garments?".

"In order to qualify as Miss Wickham's husband, the gentleman should be possessed with a demanding personality and considerable strength of character".

"Jealousy is undoubtedly a powerful motivating energy, sir".

"In that case, I fear I must give my notice" - (when faced with the fact that Mr Wooster intends to play 'that instrument' within the narrow confines of a country cottage).

"I cannot abandon the stand which I have taken".

"It's said to originate, sir, with the entertainment got up on the cotton plantations of the New World by the slaves employed on those facilities, in order to express joy and happiness at their lot. An unlikely contingency, one surmises, bearing in mind their situation" - (when Mr Wooster asks him why it's necessary for minstrel fellows to blacken their faces in order to play the banjo and sing songs).

"Except for the eye of love, one Aberdeen terrier looks very much like another".

"It seems to be a reasonably straightforward syncopated five four time signature".

"Since time immemorial, it has fallen to the Gallic races to bring civilisation to the rude northerly provinces of their empire" - (persuading chef Anatole to return to Brinkley Court).

"Veloute aux fleurs de courgette".

"Pardon me for intervening sir, but perhaps it would alleviate the ethical pressure you find yourself under if I, were to open the communication and read it out loud".

"I hesitate to contradict you Mr Spode but the working masses and I have barely a nodding acquaintance. Good afternoon."

"Travel is highly educational, sir" - (attempting to convince Mr Wooster to go on a round-the-world cruise).

"Gentlemen do not wear straw hats in the metropolis".

"The first truly rideable machine was made by a Mr Kirkpatrick MacMillan of Dumfriesshire in Scotland in 1839, I believe, sir" - (when Mr Wooster asks him who invented the bicycle).

"The approved method is to cut a small square of brown paper roughly to the equivalent to the pane of glass, smear it in treacle and then..." - (advising Mr Wooster how to break a window silently).

"It is as well to know what tune the devil is playing" - (justifying his recent knowledge of the Communist ideals).

"I endeavour to give satisfaction, sir".





* Information derived from Jeeves and Wooster *

Postcards to Jeeves

Postcards written by Bertie Wooster to his valet Jeeves as he travels across America with the cast of 'Ask Dad' - a Broadway musical.


Lackawanna, New York to Chattanooga, Tennessee:
Well, we're off on our travels, Jeeves. Blasted tricky business what they call "hunting" in these parts; they do it without horses. Managed to wing a forest ranger the other day, however. Show is a sellout everywhere. My log cabin marked with an X.


Tallahassee, Florida:
Westward, ever westward, Jeeves. We're all having a whale of a time, especially Cyril Bassington-Bassington. My sleeping-car marked with an X.


Palestine, Texas:
Show doing famously, Jeeves. I must say, the horses out here are rather excitable. The local lads are rather excitable too. I've had to buy a few new clothes, I'm afraid, but I'm sure you'll approve. My bunkhouse marked with an X.


Nevada, Missouri to Rapid City, South Dakota:
This card shows a picture of the Rockies, Jeeves. They're mountains, as you can see. Dashed rocky they are, too. My rock marked with an X.


Crazy Mountains, Montana:
This is the life, Jeeves. Not a fish in sight and boots slowly filling with iced water. I did catch a couple of trout the other day. One of them looked exactly like Oofy Prosser. You don't suppose the Oofys hail from Montana, do you? My teepee marked with an X.


Walla Walla, Washington:
I've now seen 'Ask Dad' six billion and blasted two times, Jeeves (or is it six billion and blasted three?) and still no blasted sign of a blasted Broadway theater. My seat in the blasted orchestra stall marked with a blasted X.

PS, I really think I might leave the show and totter home soon.





*Information for this post were derived from Jeeves and Wooster (Series 3, Episode 3) * 

Subversion Through Scent Part III

The Potential Nominations for Domestic Goblin's Holy Grail Fragrances are:

~ Bvlgari Eau Parfumée au Thé Vert Cologne
A quiet scent that is safe and inoffensive to wear, even amongst the most delicate of noses. 

~ Lime Basil & Mandarin by Jo Malone
A cheerful, uplifting citrus with great outdoor projection.

~ Mitsouko Eau de Parfum by Guerlain
Do not wear this scent if you can not handle the infatuation that follows...
"Nobody ever died from wearing Mitsouko, but lots of babies were born as a result of it" - Luca Turin.

~ Perle de Mousse by Ann Gerard
A delicate, beautiful floral.

~ L'instant de Guerlain Eau de Parfum by Guerlain
Fleeting moments of enlightenment.

~ Pleasures Eau de Parfum by Estee Lauder
Uplifting winter floral.


Other possible contenders:

~ Violetta Eau de Toilette by Penhaligon's
A lovely scent of violet leaves and violet flower. Powdery, sweet and green.

~ 4711 Original Eau de Cologne
An iconic medicinal citrus.

~ No. 5 Eau Premiere by Chanel
My inner-goth wanted to ignore this mainstream masterpiece.


Intrigued by:

~ Organza Indecence by Givenchy
Described as a cloud of joy.

~ Chamade Eau de Parfum by Guerlain
Described as a homage to the moment when the heart surrenders to love...


Ever wanted to know what Domestic Goblin's first perfume was? Click here to find out.

Connie Gustafson

Miss Holiday Golightly, Travelling

Occupation: Actress and Cafe Society Celebrity.

Brownstone Residence: Apartment 2, 169 East 71st Street, New York.

Pet: Red tiger striped tom cat.

Musical ability: Guitar.

Cigarettes: Picayunes.

Diet: Cottage cheese and Melba toast.

Eau de Cologne: 4711 Original.

Accessories: Dark prescription glasses; black dress; black sandals; pearl choker.

Real name: Lulamae Barnes.

Illegal secret: Married Doc Golightly aged 14.

Dinner at Tiffany's

Venue: 

Apartment 2, Upper East Side, Manhattan

Host/chef: 

Holly Golightly

Guests: 

Jose Yberra-Jaegar and Fred


Menu

~ Brandied Black Terrapin poured into Avocado Shells ~

 

~ Roasted Pheasant stuffed with Pomegranates and Persimmons ~

 

~ Chicken and Saffron Rice served with a Chocolate Sauce ~

 

~ Tobacco Tapioca ~

 

 

* Post inspired by Breakfast at Tiffany's written by Truman Capote *



Restaurant Hôtel de Paris

Dining with Kenneth Toomey and Don Carlo Campanati

 

 

~ Saumon Fumé de Hollande

 

~ Velouté de Homard au Paprika

 

~ Tourte de Ris-de-veau Brillat-Savarin

 

~ Selle d'Agneau de Lait Polignac

 

~ Pommes Dauphin         

~ Petit-Pois Fine-Fleur

 

~ Sorbet au Clicquot

 

~ Poularde Soufflée Impériale

 

~ Salade Aida

 

~ Crêpes Flambées au Grand Marnier

 

~ Coffret de Friandises

 

~ Corbeille de Fruits         

~ Café         

~ Liqueurs

 

 

 

 

* Menu taken from Earthly Powers by Anthony Burgess *

Blackberry Picking

 By Seamus Heaney

Late August, given heavy rain and sun
for a full week, the blackberries would ripen.
At first, just one, a glossy purple clot
among others, red, green, hard as a knot.
You ate that first one and its flesh was sweet
like thickened wine: summer's blood was in it
leaving stains upon the tongue and lust for
picking. Then red ones inked up and that hunger
sent us out with milk-cans, pea-tins, jam-pots
where briars scratched and wet grass bleached our boots.
Round hayfields, cornfields and potato-drills
we trekked and picked until the cans were full,
until the tinkling bottom had been covered
with green ones, and on top big dark blobs burned
like a plate of eyes. Our hands were peppered
with thorn pricks, our palms sticky as Bluebeard's.
We hoarded the fresh berries in the byre.
But when the bath was filled we found a fur,
A rat-grey fungus, glutting on our cache.
The juice was stinking too. Once off the bush
the fruit fermented, the sweet flesh would turn sour.
I always felt like crying. It wasn't fair
that all the lovely canfuls smelt of rot.
Each year I hoped they'd keep, knew they would not.

 

 

 

 

* Image taken from Jo Malone *

Let's Boo Boo

Newton Haven Pub Crawl: The Glorious Golden Mile

 

 



 

1) The First Post



2) The Old Familiar



3) The Famous Cock



4) The Cross Hands



5) The Good Companions



6) The Trusty Servant



7) The Two Headed Dog



8) The Mermaid



9) The Beehive



10) The King's Head



11) The Hole in the Wall



12) The World's End









 

 

 

* The post was inspired by the concluding film in The Cornetto Trilogy: The World's End *

3A, Berkeley Mansions

An English Gentleman's Lifestyle

Residence: Mansfield Street, Marylebone, London.

Personal Services: Valet

Membership: Drones Club, Dover Street, Mayfair, London.

Mode of Transport: Aston Martin

Attire (pressed, clean and mended at all times):
Evening wear, formal. Evening wear, informal.
Simple brown Harris Tweed suit for train travel.
Grey flannel trousers and a checked sports coat for fishing or golfing in the countryside.
Hounds tooth check suit.
Heliotrope pyjamas.
Silk socks.

Accessories:
Whangee Umbrella.

Barber and Perfumer: Geo F. Trumper

Umbrella Shop: James Smith and Sons

Bespoke Suits and Tailoring: Norton and Sons

Ties: Bookers in the Burlington Arcade

Dining: Quaglino's

Entertainment: The Buck's Club; The Mottled Oyster

Tea: Darjeeling in the morning; Earl Grey in the afternoon.

Refreshment for guests: Bollinger 1927 and Turkish cigarettes.


* Inspired by fictional character Bertie Wooster *

Letters from West Neck, Long Island

Written by Rockmeteller Todd to his Aunt Isobel


Letter 1:

My Dearest Aunt,

How can I ever thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to live in this astounding city? New York seems more wonderful every day.

I was out with the crowd at the Midnight Revels the other night. Everyone was there, Oscar Hammerstein looked in about one o'clock and got off a good story about Flo Ziegfeld. Billie Burke looked upset. She's very protective towards Flo.

The show at the Revels is wonderful. I'm enclosing a programme.

Tuesday night, a few of us went to the Frolics on the Roof. Bea Lilly gave us her impression of President Hoover in the bathroom. A muted performance, since Mrs Hoover was hovering nearby.

I thought I was in for a quiet night last night, but fate decreed otherwise. I ran into a few friends and they took me along to the 21. It was Thelma Gaultier's birthday, so we all had to wear hats. Doug Fairbanks did all sorts of stunts and made us roar. On screen or off, he is a most energetic fellow, and full of charm. Mary Pickford wasn't with him last night, but she kindly sent me her regards.

And so, to Harlem. The music is astounding. My piano lessons are really paying dividends. Though Willy 'The Lion' Smith says I've still got to work on my left hand.

The new show at the Apollo is even better than the last. The dancing was superb and Josephine Baker really cooking with gas in the Terpsichorean department.

Home at 3:30. It's odd. Even with only three or four hours sleep, I never seem to get tired.

The finest musicians in the land find their way to 52nd Street. The skill and versatility of some of them is enough to take your breath away.

Cole Porter's new musical, The Gay Divorce, opened last night. The party arfterwards was almost as good as the show itself and of course everybody who was anybody was there. I danced with an up-and-coming young actress called Bette Davis, who asked me to go out to the coast and try my luck in movies, but I don't think so.

Cole looked tired. He told George Burns and me that rehearsals for the show had been really difficult. But like myself, he really thrives on the noise and excitement and sheer energy that is Manhattan.

I must stop now. Pardon My English opens tonight, and I promised I'd be there.

Your affectionate nephew,

Rocky.

P.S. I have not yet touched on the sporting scene in New York. The sports fanatic is certainly well catered for. In baseball, basketball and the roller derby, the spirit of fair play is exemplified. 'May the best man win' is the cry.


Letter 2:

My Dear Aunt Isobel,

I was very surprised to get your letter saying that you don't want me to write any more reports on New York's nightlife. 

I thought you were enjoying them. I've certainly enjoyed writing them.

I only hope this doesn't indicate any further deterioration in your health.

Your affectionate nephew,

Rocky.


 


* The contents of this post were borrowed from Jeeves and Wooster *

A Children's Book of American Birds

by Muriel Singer
(Ghost writer: Reginald Jeeves)


Excerpt 1:
Should any of you children be lucky enough to visit California, you may catch a glimpse of the acrobatic little Mexican Chickadee. You will learn much more about this rascal when you are grown-up and read Mr Alexander Worple's wonderful book, American Birds.


Excerpt 2:

Often on a spring morning, as you walk through the fields, you will hear the sweet,

carelessly-flowing song of the Eastern Bluebird. When you are older, you must read

all about him in Mr Alexander Worple’s wonderful book, American Birds.

Excerpt 3:
As Mr Alexander Worple says in his famous book, More American Birds, if you see a Sanderling spinning round in the water like a top, it's a Phalarope. You see, children, Phalaropes do look very like Sanderlings of course but they're famous for spinning round and round in the water. This is a picture of the Northern Phalarope. Isn't he a handsome little fellow?




* Contents of this post were borrowed from Jeeves and Wooster *

Review of Applied Ethics

"Kafka's Motorbike: A searing vision of the wounds our century has inflicted on traditional masculinity. It's positively Vonnegut-esque" - Bridget Jones.

Spinoza's Ethics - Proposition: "Self contentment can arise from reason, and only that contentment which arises from reason is the highest that can exist".

Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak - Can The Subaltern Speak?: "White men saving brown women from brown men".

Joseph Stalin: "Socialism was Soviet Power plus the electrification of the whole country" - (Stalin's report to the Congress of Soviets in December 1920).

Ralph Waldo Emerson: ‎"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail".

Jacques Derrida: "There is nothing outside the text".

Claude Levi-Strauss: "The 'savage' mind has the same structures as the 'civilized' mind and that human characteristics are the same everywhere".

Sigmund Freud: The Oedipus complex and the castration complex.

Norbert Elias: Social existence and human behaviour.

Melanie Klein: The first person to use traditional psychoanalysis with young children.

Emile Durkheim: Institutionalized sociology.

Karl Marx: "The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles".

Max Weber: The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism.

Leviticus 11: "Whatsoever parteth the hoof, and is wholly cloven-footed, and cheweth the cud, among the beasts, that may ye eat".



* Title of post inspired by Isabel Dalhousie*

Le Vin du Rosier

~ A superwine first created in the year 1900 from grapes grown from the thorn of a rose in a vineyard in Bordeaux.

~ Described as having a trace of vanilla, nutmeg and an oaky finish.

~ The last known bottle of Le Vin du Rosier was brewed in 1985 and valued at £7000 in the year 2000.



"There is a prophecy that grapes grown from the thorn of a rose will make a wine fit for the Holy Father himself"


* Inspired by an episode of Black Books: Grapes of Wrath *

S1:E3

Black Books Dinner Party



Host/chef: Manny Bianco

Venue: Bookshop in London

Special Guests: Bernard Black & Fran Katzenjammer

 

 

Starter

Mini medleys of chicken with summer berries.

 

Main Course

Daube of Argentinian Lamb with a julienne of red roots; celeriac mash and salsa verde.

 

Wines

Tavel, Primitiva or Navarra.

 

Dessert

Rum and chocolate cake.



* Information taken from an episode of Black Books: Hello Sun *

S2:E5

Fran and Eva's Guide to Discovering Your Inner Karma...

... or Boring the Bollocks off your Friends:


~ Persuade others to take up yoga exercises.
~ Believe that everyone should meditate.
~ Avoid all stimulants.
~ Drink carrot juice.
~ Believe that wheat is poison.
~ Avoid eating meat.
~ Believe that rice cakes are a special treat.
~ Offer to centre someone's yang.


Robotically quote:

"That's because he's got pressure on his meridian lines".

"You're full of things that are bad for you".

"You are miserable because you are always guzzling, gulping or puffing".

"You always want something. In Tibet, if they want something, they give something away".

"Yoga is amazing. It's like having sunshine in your veins".

"The only way to inner peace..."

"His energy centres are misaligned".

"Your chakras will be all clogged".

"I'm going to ignore that. That's the toxins in you talking".

* Post inspired by an episode of Black Books: Hello Sun *

S2:E5

Eau de Wooster

Bertie Wooster Style Fragrances

 

~ Sartorial Eau de Toilette by Penhaligon's ~

 

The scent of Savile Row, created by perfumer Bertrand Duchaufour.

 

Head Notes: 

Aldehydes, Ozonic Effect, Metallic Effect, Violet Leaf, Neroli, Cardamom, Black Pepper, Fresh Ginger

Heart Notes: 

Beeswax, Cyclamen, Linden Blossom, Lavender, Leather

Base Notes: 

Gurgum Wood, Patchouli, Myrrh, Cedarwood, Tonka Bean, Oakmoss, White Musk, Honey Effect, Old Wood Effect, Vanilla, Amber

 

 

 

"Sartorial is a contemporary interpretation of a classic Fougère; traditional notes...have been exquisitely stitched together...to create the perfect illusion of a tailor’s workroom". 

More importantly, would Jeeves approve of this choice?

 

Handwoven in the Outer Hebrides

Poetic descriptions of various Harris Tweed cloth:

1) At first a grey twill and back of a blue shark blue pinstripe. But underneath the shark is a cloud grey with subtle notes of what sky is behind the cloud blue and lowland moss green.





2) A Valentine red offered by a sheep hoof brown 10 by 10 herringbone.



3) The island is looking like this 8 on 8 herringbone. Nae clouds and any surviving green growth is burnt orange from the cold. The sun is causing squinty eyes and little grins.



4) A crisp checked early March morning on the moor. Deep orange of the moor grass against the yearlong green gorse bush. The sky is nice.

 

 

5) Lost in the Stornoway castle grounds, mid winter, late afternoon. An 8 by 8 herringbone of wet bark on hardy green leaves.

 

 

6) Here's a washboard twill of 'before grandads hair went white' grey next to a slightly slimmer underbelly of a brown trout brown.

 

 

7) Honeycomb held to the sunlight twill.

 

 

 8) A blonde woman sitting on the harbour wall in Ness painting her nails red with the turquoise blue sea below her, clear blue sky above her and white beach sand behind her.

 

 

9) A complex houndstooth-esque weave of today's cloud white and 9 of 12 month drying peat brown, split by a wide check of plum maroon and roasting carrot orange.

 

 

10) A sun dried lavender sprig green and flower purple, sea rust brown and a flat white houndstooth.

 

 

* Information gathered from the Harris Tweed Authority *

Poems inspired by Harris Tweed

Haggis a'like Harris Tweed - Robert Burns

 

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak
mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae
skinking ware
... That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!

 

 

The Strand
I met a man in Harris Tweed
As I walked down the Strand;
I turned and followed him like a dog
The breath of hill and sea and bog
That clung about that coat of brown,
And suddenly, in London Town,
I heard again the Gaelic speech,
The scrunch of keel on shingly beach;
... I saw the little lochs where lie
The lilies, white as ivory;
And tumbling down the rocky hills
Came scores of little foaming rills,
I saw the crofter bait his line,
The children herding yellow kine,
The barefoot woman with her creel
The washing-pot, the spinning wheel
The mounds thrown up by patient toil,

To coax the corn from barren soil.
With buoyant step I went along
Whistling a Hebridean song
That Iain Og of Taransay
Sang on enchanted day.
I was a man renewed indeed
Because I smelt that Harris Tweed
As I went down the Strand.

 

 

 

 

* Information derived from the Harris Tweed Authority *

The Garden, recited by Madeline Bassett

In the garden of my heart,
The blossoms o'erhang the leaves,
The skylark sings from morn till night
High in the sleepy jacaranda tree.

But the garden of my heart
Is watered only by my tears
Under the wise, old, gnarled oak
Inter me when my time appears.

And on the mossy stone above,
Carve these words without lament
She lived, she loved,
She breathed her last

Here lies one who rests in peace.


Madeline's Views:

~ Stars are Gods daisy chain.
~ Rabbits are gnomes in attendance on the Fairy Queen.
~ Every time a fairy blows its wee nose a baby is born.
~ Old Mister Moon is ever so shy, he keeps hiding behind the clouds.


* Information taken from Jeeves and Wooster *

The Roaring Twenties

Partying it up - Wooster-style

Good Night Vienna

Goodnight Vienna, you city of a million melodies,
Our hearts are thrilling to the strains that you play,
From dawn 'til the daylight dies.

Goodnight Vienna, where moonlight fills the air with mysteries,
And eyes are shining to the gypsy guitars
That sing to the starry skies.

Enchanted city of Columbine and Pierrot,
We know the magic of your spell,
Of our romances you're the hero,
Now is the time to say farewell.

Goodnight Vienna, now lovers kiss beneath your linden trees,
The world is waiting on the edge of the day,
Just waiting to say Goodnight!

Sonny Boy

Climb up on my knee Sonny Boy
Though you're only three Sonny Boy
You've no way of knowing
There's no way of showing
What you mean to me Sonny Boy.

When there are grey skies,
I don't mind the grey skies.
You make them blue Sonny Boy.
Friends may foresake me.
Let them all foresake me.
I still have you Sonny Boy.

You're sent from heaven
And I know your worth.
You made a heaven
For me here on earth.

When I'm old and grey dear
Promise you won't stray dear
For I love you so Sonny Boy.

When there are grey skies,
I don't mind grey skies.
You make them blue Sonny Boy.
Friends may foresake me.
Let them all foresake me.
I still have you Sonny Boy.

You're sent from heaven
And I know your worth.
You've made a heaven
For me here on earth.

And the angels grew lonely
Took you because they were lonely
I'm lonely too Sonny Boy.

Minnie The Moocher

Hey folks here's the story 'bout Minnie the Moocher
She was a red-hot hoocie coocher
She was the roughest toughest rail
But Minnie had a heart as big as a whale

 

She had a dream about the king of Sweden
He gave her things that she was needin'
He gave her a home built of gold and steel
A diamond car with platinum wheels

He gave her his townhouse and his racing horses
Each meal she ate was a dozen courses
Had a million dollars’ worth of nickels and dimes
She sat around and counted them all a million times

 

Poor Min, poor Min, poor Min.

Forty-Seven Ginger-Headed Sailors

Now there's a good ship,
H.M.S. Cock-Robin.
On her home trip,
Up and down she's bobbin'
So the crew's pretty tough.
The sea is so rough.
They're all fed up and say
That they've had more than enough.

I've got a brother
He's an able seaman
And they call him Redhead Tom

I wire to say I'll meet you
And with your pals I'll treat you
So who do you think I've had a message from?

Forty-seven ginger-headed sailors
Coming home across the briney sea
When the anchor's weighed
And the journey's made
Then they'll start the party
With a heave-ho, me-hearty

Forty-seven ginger-headed sailors
You can bet you're going to hear them when they hail us
An old maid down in Devon
Said my idea of heaven
Is forty-seven ginger-headed sailors!


Puttin' On The Ritz
Have you seen the well-to-do
Upon Lennox Avenue
On that famous thoroughfare
With their noses in the air

High hats and narrow collars
White spats and fifteen dollars
Spending every dime
For a wonderful time

If you're blue
And you don't know where to go to
Why don't you go where Harlem flits
Puttin' on the Ritz

Spangled Gowns upon the bevy of
High browns from down the levy
All misfits
Puttin' on the Ritz

That's where each and every lulu-belle goes
Every Thursday evening with her swell beaus
Rubbin' elbows

Come with me and we'll attend their jubilee
And see them spend
Their last two bits
Puttin' on the Ritz

Oh By Jingo

Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove
(Oh by jove, oh by jove, oh by jove)
Oh By Jingo won't you hear our love
(Will you kindly raise your voice? Louder!)
We will build for you a hut
(Yes!)
You will be our favourite nut
(Crack!)
We will have a lot of little Oh By Jones
Dress them up in cloths and clothes


By Jingo said "By gosh by gee
(gabcde stop!)
By Jiminy, please don't bother me"
(Bother her! Bother her!)
So they all went away singing
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove By Jingo
By gee, you're the only girl for me.

Bring my lobster on a clean plate.


Ever So Goosey
Maud and Fred were courting,
The wedding day grew near.
Said Fred to Maud one evening,
I wish you'd tell me dear.

How do you feel when you marry your ideal?
Ever so goosey, goosey, goosey, goosey.
How do you feel when the bells begin to peal?
Ever so goosey, goosey, goosey, goosey.
Walking up the aisle, in a kind of daze,
Do you get the wind up when the organ plays?
How do you feel when the parson's done the deal?
Ever so goosey, goosey, goosey, goosey.

"The man that hath no music in himself... is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils" - (William Shakespeare).