Showing posts with label Profile. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Profile. Show all posts

Saturday, 1 February 2025

That's What She Said

Dunder Mifflin Paper Company based in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Scranton Business Park painted by Pam Beesly


Favourite character

~ Dwight K. Schrute
Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Beet farmer at Schrute Farms.
Runs an Agritourism Bed and Breakfast on the family farm.

Former volunteer Sherrif's Deputy at weekends. 

Hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable.

Eventually gained his black belt in karate and became Regional Manager in season 9.

Races he is sexually attracted to: White and Indian.

Secretly dated Angela Martin (season 2-4).

Had a secret affair with Angela whilst she was engaged to Andy Bernard (season 4-5).

Slept with Angela one month before she married Senator Robert Lipton resulting in the birth of Dwight's son, Phillip (season 8).

Proposed and married to Angela (season 9).

Always keeps an extra set of Birkenstocks in the car for special occasions.

The seven first priorities:
  1. Safety
  2. Profits
  3. Fostering a community of self reliance and entrepeunership
  4. Listening
  5. Respect for human life
  6. Bolstering our public image
  7. Getting everyone home on time

Daily routine:
  • Karate eight times a week
  • Boxing during lunch and at weekends
  • Kickboxing three times a week
  • Krav maga four times a week
  • An hour of meditation every morning at sunrise and again at sunset

Why Dwight thinks he is a minority:
  • Glasses wearer
  • Cholera survivor
  • Genius
  • Non-organic family farmer

Why Dwight thinks Kelly is technically Caucasian: Anthropologically, she is Indian. Indians migrated from the caucuses region of Europe.

Dwight's requirements for attractiveness:
  • Large breasts 
  • Small waist
  • Ample reproductive health
  • Facial symmetry

Why Dwight reckons obese people in his office building are a drain on resources:
  • Chairs wear out faster
  • Takes more freon to keep them cool
  • They flush the toilets more often
  • Their massive BMs bust the rivets on the pipes

Owns an acre of land on the light side of the moon directly adjacent to the sea of tranquility (Christmas present from Andy Bernard).

What Dwight thinks the main use of English people today is: judging American talent. They're mean but they're incisive.

Wonders if King-sized sheets are called Presidential-sized in England.

Written quite a bit of X-Men fan fiction featuring Captain Mutato - half man, half mermaid. He can fight crime as a man and make love as a mermaid. Most of his writing involves the latter.

Dwight's Christmas / an authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas:
  • Drink some Glühwein 
  • Enjoy some Hasenpfeffer
  • Enjoy Christmas with Saint Nicholas' rural German companion, Belsnickel 
  • Hog Maw (stuffed pigs stomach) - a Pennsylvania Dutch speciality 
  • Breaking the pig rib after you've finished eating the Hog Maw
  • Impish or admirable?

Handsome and Stinky: paper brothers for hire.

Kobayashi Maru.

Why Dwight's thinks his cousin Mose could make a great salesman: he's got a natural fear of paper, which would motivate him to get as much of it out of this office as possible.

Dwight dated his babysitter for a while and she described him as a passionate lover and the sweetest little baby.

When Dwight was young, he went to X-Men school for several years. He was told it was a private school that would teach him how to harness his mutant abilities. 

Normally, he finds Pam a comforting if unarousing prescence in the office. Like a well watered fern.

Dwight's brother, Jeb, used to talk about growing a peanut-grape hybrid. One plant. One sandwich.

The ring that Dwight used to propose to Angela: taken from the buttocks of his grandmother, out there by the gangster patriarch of the Coors dynasty, melted in a foundry run by Mennonites.


Mose and Dwight



Original Scranton team before the merger with the Stamford branch and with Sabre:

Regional Manager: Michael Scott.

Receptionist: Pam Beesly.

Sales team: Jim Halpert, Dwight Schrute, Stanley Hudson, Phyllis Lapin.

Accounting team: Angela Martin, Kevin Malone, Oscar Martinez.

Quality Control: Creed Bratton.

Supplier Relations: Meredith Palmer.

Customer Service: Kelly Kapoor.

HR: Toby Flenderson.

Temp: Ryan Howard

Warehouse team: Darryl Philbin, Lonny Collins, Roy Anderson, Madge Madsen.

Vice President of Northeast Sales: Jan Levinson-Gould.


The fictionalised promo:

"The Office: an American workplace airing on PBS next month is a documentary following the employees of Scranton's own Dundee Mifflin Paper Company!

In this series, which will air starting in May, we get an in-depth look at many interesting local people.

There's Kevin Malone, the Falstaffian accountant.

There's Dwight Schrute, the Head Salesman forever chasing a manager position he will never get.

Andy Bernard, the rudderless trust fund child/middle manager whose incompetence is emblematic of a declining American economy. A possible explanation for his lack of career focus is his surprising musical talent.

Though it mostly focuses on the daily realities of office life, a lurid subplot reveals the hypocrisy of a local public figure embroiled in a gay affair while preaching family values."

===

Friday, 1 December 2017

Dorsia

Zagat guide

The Patty Winters Show

Evian

J&B

Xclusiv - private health club

Call waiting

Cristal




Tuesday, 1 December 2015

The Holbein Rustler

Wilkie Phillips

Has a preference for the rare Anne Boleyn painting by Holbein. 

Lives in a farmhouse outside of Ely.

Stocks up on:
~ Condensed milk
~ Salmon paste
~ Bread
~ Bananas


* Information derived from the novel: Sidney Chambers and the Shadow of Death *

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Connie Gustafson

Miss Holiday Golightly, Travelling

Occupation: Actress and Cafe Society Celebrity.

Brownstone Residence: Apartment 2, 169 East 71st Street, New York.

Pet: Red tiger striped tom cat.

Musical ability: Guitar.

Cigarettes: Picayunes.

Diet: Cottage cheese and Melba toast.

Eau de Cologne: 4711 Original.

Accessories: Dark prescription glasses; black dress; black sandals; pearl choker.

Real name: Lulamae Barnes.

Illegal secret: Married Doc Golightly aged 14.




Sunday, 1 September 2013

3A, Berkeley Mansions

An English Gentleman's Lifestyle

Residence: Mansfield Street, Marylebone, London.

Personal Services: Valet

Membership: Drones Club, Dover Street, Mayfair, London.

Mode of Transport: Aston Martin

Attire (pressed, clean and mended at all times):
Evening wear, formal. Evening wear, informal.
Simple brown Harris Tweed suit for train travel.
Grey flannel trousers and a checked sports coat for fishing or golfing in the countryside.
Hounds tooth check suit.
Heliotrope pyjamas.
Silk socks.

Accessories:
Whangee Umbrella.

Barber and Perfumer: Geo F. Trumper

Umbrella Shop: James Smith and Sons

Bespoke Suits and Tailoring: Norton and Sons

Ties: Bookers in the Burlington Arcade

Dining: Quaglino's

Entertainment: The Buck's Club; The Mottled Oyster

Tea: Darjeeling in the morning; Earl Grey in the afternoon.

Refreshment for guests: Bollinger 1927 and Turkish cigarettes.


* Inspired by fictional character Bertie Wooster *

Monday, 1 July 2013

Le Vin du Rosier

~ A superwine first created in the year 1900 from grapes grown from the thorn of a rose in a vineyard in Bordeaux.

~ Described as having a trace of vanilla, nutmeg and an oaky finish.

~ The last known bottle of Le Vin du Rosier was brewed in 1985 and valued at £7000 in the year 2000.



"There is a prophecy that grapes grown from the thorn of a rose will make a wine fit for the Holy Father himself"


* Inspired by an episode of Black Books: Grapes of Wrath *

S1:E3

Friday, 1 February 2013

Miriam Princhek

Miranda Priestly

~ Editor-in-chief of American Runway magazine.

~ Mother of twin daughters: Caroline and Cassidy.

~ Current spouse: Mr Tomlinson.

~ Resides in a penthouse apartment on Fifth Avenue with deep burgundy carpet in the hallway; thick cream coloured fabric with tiny cream pinstripes running the length on the walls and a suede cream bench.

~ Owner of Madelaine, a French bulldog puppy.

~ Personal cars:
  • Lincoln Navigator in black 
  • Porsche Carrera 4 in British racing green

~ Signature accessory: white Hermès scarf. 

~ Perfume: Bvlgari.

~ Stationery: Ecru Dempsey and Carroll.

~ Preferred bottled water: a glass of Pellegrino served with ice and a lime and placed on a linen napkin on the left hand side. 

~ Coffee: Starbucks tall latte with two raw sugars, two napkins and one stirrer.

~ Breakfast from Mangia:
  • 1 x soft cheese danish 
  • 4 x slices of bacon
  • 2 x sausage links 

~ Lunch prepared by Smith and Wollensky:
  • 1.25 pound of ribeye steak, served bloody
  • 2 x baked potatoes, served steaming hot
  • Smashed potatoes made soft with lots of heavy cream and extra butter
  • 8 x stalks of asparagus 
  • Served with a metal gravy boat of softened butter and a pinch box of grainy kosher salt
  • Provided with a wooden-handled steak knife and a crisp white linen napkin

~ Casual attire allowed in the office on Fridays: skin-tight tan-coloured corduroy jeans from Seven, worn with high heels.

~ Newspapers on Wednesdays:
  • New York Times
  • Daily News
  • New York Post
  • The Financial Times
  • The Washington Post
  • USA Today
  • The Wall Street Journal
  • Women's Wear Daily
  • The New York Observer

~ Weekly magazines available on Mondays:
  • Time
  • Newsweek
  • US News
  • The New Yorker
  • Time Out New York
  • New York
  • The Economist

~ Household staff:
  • Personal driver: Uri
  • Children's nanny
  • Housekeeper
  • Chef: Tomas 

~ Office staff:
  • Senior assistant: Emily
  • Junior assistant: Andrea
 
~ Mobile phone: Motorola V60

~ Travelling abroad: 
  • Louis Vuitton suitcases 
  • Clothes and other belongings wrapped in velvet fabric

~ Different looks for different occasions:

Shows:

1) Daytime
2) Evening

Meals:

1) Breakfast meeting

2) Lunch
     2a) Casual (hotel or bistro)
     2b) Formal (The Espadon in the Ritz)

3) Dinner
     3a) Casual (bistro, room service)
     3b) Midrange (decent restaurant, casual dinner           party)
     3c) Formal (Le Grand Vefour restaurant, formal           dinner party)

Parties:

1) Casual (champagne breakfasts, afternoon teas)

2) Stylish (cocktail parties by nonmajor people, book parties, “meet for drinks”)

3) Dressy (cocktail parties by major people, anything at a museum or gallery, post-show parties hosted by design team)

Miscellaneous:

1) To and from the airport

2) Athletic events (lessons, tournaments, etc.)

3) Shopping excursions

4) Running errands
     4a) To couture salons
     4b) To upscale shops and boutiques
     4c) To the local food store and/or health and               beauty aid



TIP: When in doubt, it is better to be underdressed in something fabulous than overdressed in
something fabulous. 



* Information derived from the book 'The Devil Wears Prada' written by Lauren Weisberger published in 2003 *

Monday, 1 August 2011

Jessica Fink-Nottle

Mademoiselle Fink-Nottle is a spinster, a minor aristocrat and a member of the idle rich.

Based primarily in London and in Manhatten, she dwells in Art Deco style residences, furnished with full-blown bourgeois decadence, and is served by her well-informed and talented Lady-in-Waiting, Regina Jeeves.

Her early education took place at Waterfield Preparatory School in Bramley-on-Sea. Further education took place at Eton Girls Boarding School in Windsor and at Christ Church College in Oxford. She also matriculated at a private Swiss finishing school but never graduated.

Her interests include smoking, drinking and piano playing.

Sibling: Augustus Fink-Nottle.

Acquaintances include:
~ Hilda Glossop - cousin-in-law
~ Harriet Winship - local Conservative candidate
~ Georgina Sipperly - author
~ Claudia Pirbright - old school friend

Previously betrothed to:
~ Frederick Craye
~ Paul Stoker
~ Robert Wickham


* Inspired by the Jeeves and Wooster stories written by P.G. Wodehouse *