Titus Makes Lemonade

Items that Titus needs for lemonading

~ All his Afro-centric bedspreads

~ The definitive Rosie O'Donnell cast recording of Grease

~ Spooky sounds of the Haunted Mansion

~ An audiotape of commercials he uses as a shopping list

===

Furiosity

I tried to change

To be...sweeter

Prettier

Less...gassy

I slept on a cot next to a towel

Shaped like a swan wearing my sunglasses

And plugged my seasick portal with pages from the Holy Book

But all the while...were you cheating on me?

Hell nah, I ain't playing with you, Michael

Uh-uh, I'm not fooling with you, Michael

Back up! I ain't playing with you, Meatball

Michael, I'm not playing with you, Meatball

Something don't taste right, cause it ain't right

Like when you take a sip of water and it turns out to be Sprite

I know your secret, and now I regret ever helping you out your closet

Is this what I deserve? I took you at your word

You know I'm not too feminine to cut me up a nerd

What's worse?

Being heart broke or roach bit?

Heart broke or roach bit?

Or like, seeing you in your outfit?

I gave you that outfit

I'd rather be roach bit

Hell nah, I ain't playing with you, Michael

Uh-uh, I'm not fooling with you, Michael

For real! I ain't playing with you, Meatball

Michael, I'm not playing with you, Meatball

Imagine for a moment that you never came on out

To yourself, still on the shelf

Still had that dartboard in your house

Never made it out of Queens

Still out there playing all them sports

Never had the flyest tenor in the choir up in your shor-or-orts

Would dudes be into you? Nope

Them gays would spoof on you, goof on you

I know that opposites attract

So I find you and fix your hair

Hell no, I ain't playing with you, Michael

Uh-uh, I'm not fooling with you, Meatball

For real, I ain't playing with you, Mikey

Michael, I am angry with you mister

Whoa-oah!

It's such a shame you let this meerkat go to waste

I always keep it nice-nice-no-fuss, grind-his-owies on the bus

Like, where's my feet?

You rub my feet, and then we watch a cop-type show

Click here to watch the music video.

As featured on 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt'.