Love Letters of Great Men

Notable entries

I wake filled with thoughts of you. [...] the intoxicating evening which we spent yesterday have left my senses in turmoil. Sweet, incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart!

[...] I shall see you in three hours. Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire.

Napoleon Bonaparte (December 1795).

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[...] write me a four page letter instantly made up from those delightful words which full my heart with emotion and joy. 

I hope to hold you in my arms before long, when I shall lavish upon you a million kisses, burning as the equatorial sun.

Napoleon Bonaparte (1797).

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Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my life-long keeping.

You cannot see its intangible waves as they flow towards you, darling, but in these lines you will hear, as it were, the distant beating of the surf.

Mark Twain (May 1869)

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Don't write too legibly or intelligibly as I have no occupation so pleasantvas pondering for hours over your hieroglyphics, and for hours more trying to interpret your dark sayings.

A clearly written simply expressed letter is too like the lightening.

Cuff Cooper (June 1914)

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[...] You have set a crown of roses on my youth and fortified me against the disaster of our days.

Your courageous gaiety has inspired me with joy. Your tender faithfulness has been a rock of security and comfort. [...] You have intensified all colours, heightened all beauty, deepened all delight.

Cuff Cooper (August 1918)

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ever thine

ever mine

ever ours 

Ludwig van Beethoven (July 1806)

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* This anthology consisting of love letters written by great men throughout history was originally created as a prop for the film 'Sex and the City' *

Cyrano

Food demanded by Kirsten and Rick

~ Truffle mac and cheese, kale salad and a hamburger.

~ Seared cod, uni, buttered carrots, mashed potatoes, crispy onions rings.

~ Saffron-infused Kobe beef cooked medium rare.

Rick's favourite food

~ Filet from Ai Fiori's.

Rick hates

~ Geoff spelt with the letter G.

~ Sour cream.

Description of Kirsten

~ A stunningly beautiful woman with dark hair and a fierceness thats both scary and inspiring.

Kirsten's favourite food

~ Green curry, medium spicy from Thai Leaf on Broadway.

Kirsten's favourite place

~ Squam Lake in New Hampshire.

* Post inspired by the film Set it Up starring Lucy Liu as Kirsten and Taye Diggs as Rick *

Blades of Grass Have Scars

Blades of grass have scars

And so do flower petals

When I walk along the field path
We walked together

And sit on the field path

Overlooking the sunset

The scarred blades of grass

Will wave their hands at you

But it's the flowers that bear many scars

That are the most fragrant.

Poem written by Jeong Ho-seung

Mr Lee Lives

Lee's Kitchen

THE HERO’S JOURNEY is the story of each and every one of us.

It’s the story of the Pain and Love, Joy and Despair, Struggle and Success in all our lives.

In this series of 5, Mr Lee has created his vision of the most iconic moments in The Hero’s Journey. We follow our young Hero from his humble beginnings in the towering blocks of the Metropolis, to a meeting with the benevolent Goddess in the Cloud Kingdom, through snakes and thorns in the Underworld, between the jaws of the Dragon until he reaches the peace of self-enlightenment and self-knowledge.

The Hero's Journey Chapter 1: The Call to Adventure 

“A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step” (Lao Tzu)

A final farewell to our hero’s humble beginnings as he embarks on his mission to find enlightenment through perseverance, persistence and patience.

Leaving behind the treacherous enclaves of a dangerous metropolis, our hero looks back one last time before setting off on his quest.

The Hero's Journey Chapter 2: Meeting with the Mentor

“A boy comes to me with a spark of interest, I feed the spark and it becomes a flame. I feed the flame and it becomes a fire. I feed the fire and it becomes a roaring blaze"

(Cus D’Amato)

Having embarked on his journey, he is at the point of no return, on the brink of leaving his old life and going all-in. A door has opened in his everyday existence and a new world is ahead of him. As he is about to cross the threshold, a friend presents herself with advice and a gift.

The Hero's Journey Chapter 3: The Road of Trials

“Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one”

(Bruce Lee)

This is Hell. With gritted teeth, our hero is battling for his life. He is cut, bruised, bleeding, but unrelenting. The odds are against him - all the elements are striving to bury him 6 feet under in an unmarked grave. But his resolve is strong; he knows the sun always shines after the storm.

The Hero's Journey Chapter 4: Reconciliation with the Father

“Luke, I am your father”

(Darth Vader)

Our hero has been caught out at one minute to midnight. Sneaking into the innermost cave, he has been captured by the very dragon he came to kill. It is only then, with his life flashing before his eyes, that he realises that this dragon has no hate for him. In fact, there is mutual understanding and respect between them. Not every dragon needs to be slain. They make their peace and go their separate ways.

The Hero's Journey Chapter 5: The Resurrection

“Knowledge is Freedom” 
(Miles Davis)

Our hero has been hurt and humbled, tried and tested to his limits. He has trudged to the top of the mountain and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. He’s travelled to the end of the world and back again. He is scarred and weather worn but unbroken. His experiences have cleansed his heart and spirit and allowed him to truly know himself. The fear of death has been replaced by the freedom to live.

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Sponge Bob Square Pants

In September 2024, the Domestic Goblin decided to test out a new eco sponge scourer from Seep in an attempt to reduce her plastic usage.

Verdict: Nice concept. Would have liked the two layers to be more sturdy and not separate so easily.

Thanks to colleague KD for recommending this brand.

Slough

Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!

It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!

Come, bombs and blow to smithereens
Those air -conditioned, bright canteens,
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans,
Tinned minds, tinned breath.

Mess up the mess they call a town-
A house for ninety-seven down
And once a week a half a crown
For twenty years.

And get that man with double chin
Who'll always cheat and always win,
Who washes his repulsive skin
In women's tears:

And smash his desk of polished oak
And smash his hands so used to stroke
And stop his boring dirty joke
And make him yell.

But spare the bald young clerks who add
The profits of the stinking cad;
It's not their fault that they are mad,
They've tasted Hell.

It's not their fault they do not know
The birdsong from the radio,
It's not their fault they often go
To Maidenhead

And talk of sport and makes of cars
In various bogus-Tudor bars
And daren't look up and see the stars
But belch instead.

In labour-saving homes, with care
Their wives frizz out peroxide hair
And dry it in synthetic air
And paint their nails.

Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.

Written by John Betjeman in 1937

The Legends of Greemulax written and illustrated by K.C. Schmidt

A young adult fantasy book with a positive message about how boys should treat girls. There will be dragons and monsters and the monsters live inside them and try to trick them! All on a planet called Greemulax.

A real good message for boys. There's a little monster inside you, and most of the time, you're friends, but when it gets mad or hungry or thinks it deserves something that belongs to someone else, it tries to take over your body.

Suitable for kids aged 7 and over.

Featuring female knights called Rainbow Knights - a play on Rainbow Brite

The inspirational message of female empowerment.

The first step towards fixing the world is remembering the good inside you is stronger than the bad.

A magic trolley - science we haven't discovered yet.

An allegory for gender politics.

Character names include: Exthipianne Porheep (based on Xanthippe Vorhees); Turdgun the Pudding Man (based on Titus); Queen Lorianne the Wobbly (based on Kimmy's mum).

Do they ever escape Greemulax? Do the boys figure out how to control their monsters? Why does society keep feeding the monsters?

It turns out that Greemulax is just a mirage created by the Grabagorns. Each boy is born with a key inside him to tame his own monster! That's their one weakness!

* Information taken from 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt *

Kimmy Rings Tia Donna Maria

Taco Snake sings 12 days of Christmas: 

🎵On the nth day of Christmas, my Tia gave to me🎵

Twelve lifelong dining memories

Eleven soda refills

Ten items from the gift shop

Fla a a a an

Eight more margaritas

Seven choice of toppings

Six reasonably priced entrees

Five mole sauce

Four mariachis

Three chips and salsas

Two margaritas

And a nachos platter for the table

Nachos de Jesus recipe

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Take a party-sized bag or Tia Donna Maria's Fiesta Flavoured Nachos Chip-aritas and place on a cookie tray.

Generously sprinkle Tia Donna Maria's Queso Mexicano for Jesus' furry beard.

Cut a black olive in half to make Jesus' kind and loving eyes, full of forgiveness.

Place nachos Jesus in the oven for eight- ten minutes or wait until Jesus' edges are bubbly.

Diarrhea related emergency

We apologise for your diarrhea related emergency.

If you believe your mass does not conform to any known Bristol scale classification, please whang up immediately and text a picture of it to the University of Bristol, Biology Department at country code 44 0117 394 121.

Stay hydrated muchachos!

* Information tooken from Kimmy vs The Reverend *

28 April 1876

Is it your habit, sir, to simply enter a conversation without introduction?

The meal is the result of reflection and study. Menus are prepared in advance and timed to perfection. It is said without the culinary arts, the crudeness of reality would be unbearable.

You shake and shake the ketchup bottle. None will come and then a lot'll.

Perhaps one day when you have awoken from a pleasant slumber to the scent of a warm brioche smothered in marmalade and fresh creamery butter, you'll understand that life is not soley composed of tasks, but tastes.

Do you require a chaperone? His intentions are obvious.

If we were courting, as a matter if honour, I would have informed you of my intentions in writing.

I warn you scoundrel, I was trained to ride at the Kings Academy and schooled in weaponry by the palace guards. You stand no chance. When you run, I shall ride. When you stop, the steel of this strap will be lodged in your brain.

Basement at the Louvre; unspoiled by dilettante.

Merry Andrew.

No one wants to be romanced by a buffoon.

You admired her but hesitant to make an overture since you were told she was courting another.

Overture: make your intentions known. Think of pleasing her, not vexing her.

Some feel, that to court a woman in ones employ is nothing more than a serpentine effort to transform a lady to a whore.

No, not a serpent. That's too grand a word. Simply a braggart and a cad.

Dearest Catherine,

I behaved as an imbecile last night. Animated in part by drink, in part by your beauty and in part by my own foolish pride. For that I am profoundly sorry. Please accept as a gesture of my apology, a private dinner on the rooftop tonight at eight o'clock.

Orange lily implies hatred.

Lavender implies danger.

Begonia implies uspicion.

Amaryllis or cabbage rose declares the recipient a most splendid beauty.

You've made an impression on me.

Nine-grain toast with strawberries and mascarpone.

* Quotes taken from the film: Kate & Leopold *

MakeupEnvy / Danica Jardien

Asian Wedding Makeup (2009)

Tools:

MAC 217 brush

MAC 266 for powder (soft angled brush)

Curl lashes with a teaspoon

Disposable mascara wand

Makeup 
MAC Select Moisturecover concealer
Makeup Forever HD Loose Powder
MAC Dame Blush (Dolly Mix for deeper skin tones)
Nars The Multiple in South Beach
MAC Rubenesque
MAC Hush Eye Shadow
MAC Star Violet Eye Shadow
MAC Naked Lunch Eye Shadow

MAC Sketch Eye Shadow
MAC Point Black Liquidlast (used as a durable waterproof mascara)

MAC Fascinating Eye Khol
MAC Dervish Lip Pencil
MAC Modesty Lipstick
MAC Nymphette Lipglass

Easy Smoky Eye (2009)

Tools:

MAC 219 pencil / smudger brush

Makeup:

ELF Eye Primer and Eye Liner Sealer (for normal-dry lids)

Stila Eye Kajal - black (you can use brown or purple for a softer look)

MAC Carbon Eyeshadow (to set the eye liner)

Meemaw's (and Russ's) Secret Corn Pudding Recipe

Ingredients:

5 eggs

1/3 cup of butter

1/4 cup of white sugar

1/2 cup of milk

4 Tbsps  cornstarch

1 can of whole kernel corn

2 cans of cream-style corn 

Directions:

1) Pre-heat oven to 400F.

2) Grease a two-quart casserole dish.

3) Melt butter.

4) In a large bowl, lightly beat eggs. Add the melted butter, sugar and milk. Whisk in cornstarch. Stir in corn, blend well and pour mixture into casserole dish.

5) Bake for 1 hour. Eat and enjoy.

* The Domestic Goblin thinks that Nigella Lawson's recipe is just as good *

Please Pass the Government Butter

Petite école des pensées et mots de la bouche

Hosts

Professor Leonora van Arsdale-Yates

and

Dianne Delamonte-Shapiro (professor of her-story with a focus on the Viet-ma'am war) 

Guests

Tamara: poet, arsonist and trans ghost.

Edmund: works in the Columbia robotics lab and made a robot that's racist.

Perry: most promising student in Leonora's seminar, wrote an impressive paper on the Phaedo (Plato's last Socratic dialogue), and is extremely poor.

Kimmy thinks the reason she was invited to the dinner party was due to her skipping everywhere on campus and the fact that she can count to ten in Spanish whereas the real reason is because she was a Mole woman.

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All the art is meant to be touched.

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If you are allergic to any of the vegetables mentioned in Shakespeare, you will find nothing to your liking.

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Can you believe this tuna tartare is made entirely of cashews?

Fantasy MAC Eyeshadow Trios

Pinky-purple

Naked Lunch

Star Violet 

Sketch

Green

Vex

Juxt

Club

Blue

Tilt

Deep Truth

Contrast

Silver/grey

Crystal Avalanche

Electra

Print

Brown/neutral

Era

Woodwinked

Espresso 

* Some of these eye shadow shades have been discontinued now which shows how long ago the Domestic Goblin started writing this post and also how old DG is! *

Lentils Recipe a la France et Afrique

Ingredients:

 

• 1kg of green lentils
• 1 onion
• Sausages from East European shops, chopped bacon or beef or any other meat
• 2 tomatoes
• Garlic
• Thyme et laurels
• Salt, pepper
• Maggi cubes
• 1 big spoon of flour

Method:

• 
  

~ Wash the lentils in cold water

~ Cover with water then place on the side

~ Grill the onions and garlic

~ Add the meat, let it grill for a few minutes

~ Add the chopped tomatoes and stir for a few minutes

~ Add a large spoon of flour (to thicken)

~ Add water up to half the pan

~ Add the thyme and laurels, salt, pepper and 2 maggi cubes (I get the chicken flavour maggi cubes from African shops but you can use other types)

~ Taste and add more if needed

~ Let it boil

 

~ Get the lentils, pour the water away and add the lentils to the boiling water – boil for 15mins

~ Reduce the fire and let it boil for 30 mins or more until the lentils are soft and the sauce thicker

 

* Recipe shared by former friend AEZ in 2017 unedited *

Disappointing Products

Maybelline Sky High Waterproof Mascara

Domestic Goblin had high hopes for this mascara but the brush design and formula made her lashes look very long, thin and sparse as well as resembling Lisa Simpson eye lashes. Even tried with a different brush but still unsatisfactory.

Mandelic Acid from The Ordinary

Made skin look leathery. No visible improvements.

Bobbi Brown Corrector in Peach

Made dark under eye circles look really ashy and worse than before. Perhaps the shade Bisque would have been a better shade match but too expensive to experiment. Also didn't like the texture and was difficult to blend.

MACStack Mascara by MAC

Although this was one of the better mascara formulas produced by MAC so far, it did not hold a curl; smudged in warm weather/humid environment and needed lots of excess wiping and combing.

Catrice Under Eye Brightener

All Beauty by Sarah recommended this as a corrector for dark under eye circles. However, even though it had a silky consistency and blended well, it didn't provide any positive results. Such a shame as it only cost £3. 

Ballet Slippers nail varnish by Essie

Apparently, this was a favourite with Queen Elizabeth ll and other members of the royal family. The Domestic Goblin, however, found the colour too milky for her naturally rosy pink nails.

LA Girl Pro Concealer in Pink and Bisque

It was like applying war paint regardless of how little product was used. The UK customer service needs improving.

Salicylic Acid 2% Solution by The Ordinary

Experienced a damaged skin barrier. Foams up on face regardless of amount used and application technique. 

The Domestic Goblin will return to using Nip + Fab's glycolic cleansing pads even though Dr V claims that glycolic acid is not suitable for skin of colour. However, in DGs personal experience, many salicylic acid products just do not work well for her skin.

ELF Camo Hydrating CC Cream

This product had a lot of social media hype. However, after agonising over which shade to purchase, a few minutes after application, it made DG's eyes sting and felt uncomfortable. Before the allergic reaction, she couldn't see what all the hype was about.

ELF Hydrating Camo Concealer

This product only looks good when applied very sparingly. One full dot is too much and looks/feels like thick war paint. 

ELF Halo Glow Liquid Filter

Made the DG look really photogenic on camera (online meeting and photos). However, in real life it made her skin look more textured and leathery despite using minimal amounts.

ELF Whoa Glow SPF30 Sunscreen

Too glittery. Eyes felt uncomfortable.

ELF Big Mood Waterproof Mascara
Nice brush and formula. However, it smudged within a short space of time.

ELF Lash n Roll Mascara

Gave long yet thin anorexic looking lashes. Might work better for people with very sparse or non existent lashes.

That's What She Said

Dunder Mifflin Paper Company based in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Scranton Business Park painted by Pam Beesly

Favourite character

~ Dwight K. Schrute

Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Beet farmer at Schrute Farms.

Runs an Agritourism Bed and Breakfast on the family farm.

Former volunteer Sherrif's Deputy at weekends. 

Hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable.

Eventually gained his black belt in karate and became Regional Manager in season 9.

Races he is sexually attracted to: White and Indian.

Secretly dated Angela Martin (season 2-4).

Had a secret affair with Angela whilst she was engaged to Andy Bernard (season 4-5).

Slept with Angela one month before she married Senator Robert Lipton resulting in the birth of Dwight's son, Phillip (season 8).

Proposed and married to Angela (season 9).

Always keeps an extra set of Birkenstocks in the car for special occasions.

The seven first priorities:

1. Safety
2. Profits
3. Fostering a community of self reliance and entrepeunership
4. Listening
5. Respect for human life
6. Bolstering our public image
7. Getting everyone home on time

Daily routine:

• Karate eight times a week
• Boxing during lunch and at weekends
• Kickboxing three times a week
• Krav maga four times a week
• An hour of meditation every morning at sunrise and again at sunset

Why Dwight thinks he is a minority:

• Glasses wearer
• Cholera survivor
• Genius
• Non-organic family farmer

Why Dwight thinks Kelly is technically Caucasian: Anthropologically, she is Indian. Indians migrated from the caucuses region of Europe.

Dwight's requirements for attractiveness:

• Large breasts 
• Small waist
• Ample reproductive health
• Facial symmetry

Why Dwight reckons obese people in his office building are a drain on resources:

• Chairs wear out faster
• Takes more freon to keep them cool
• They flush the toilets more often
• Their massive BMs bust the rivets on the pipes

Owns an acre of land on the light side of the moon directly adjacent to the sea of tranquility (Christmas present from Andy Bernard).

What Dwight thinks the main use of English people today is: judging American talent. They're mean but they're incisive.

Wonders if King-sized sheets are called Presidential-sized in England.

Written quite a bit of X-Men fan fiction featuring Captain Mutato - half man, half mermaid. He can fight crime as a man and make love as a mermaid. Most of his writing involves the latter.

Dwight's Christmas / an authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas:

• Drink some Glühwein 
• Enjoy some Hasenpfeffer
• Enjoy Christmas with Saint Nicholas' rural German companion, Belsnickel 
• Hog Maw (stuffed pigs stomach) - a Pennsylvania Dutch speciality 
• Breaking the pig rib after you've finished eating the Hog Maw
• Impish or admirable?

Handsome and Stinky: paper brothers for hire.

Kobayashi Maru.

Why Dwight's thinks his cousin Mose could make a great salesman: he's got a natural fear of paper, which would motivate him to get as much of it out of this office as possible.

Dwight dated his babysitter for a while and she described him as a passionate lover and the sweetest little baby.

When Dwight was young, he went to X-Men school for several years. He was told it was a private school that would teach him how to harness his mutant abilities. 

Normally, he finds Pam a comforting if unarousing prescence in the office. Like a well watered fern.

Dwight's brother, Jeb, used to talk about growing a peanut-grape hybrid. One plant. One sandwich.

The ring that Dwight used to propose to Angela: taken from the buttocks of his grandmother, out there by the gangster patriarch of the Coors dynasty, melted in a foundry run by Mennonites.

Mose and Dwight

Original Scranton team before the merger with the Stamford branch and with Sabre:

Regional Manager: Michael Scott.

Receptionist: Pam Beesly.

Sales team: Jim Halpert, Dwight Schrute, Stanley Hudson, Phyllis Lapin.

Accounting team: Angela Martin, Kevin Malone, Oscar Martinez.

Quality Control: Creed Bratton.

Supplier Relations: Meredith Palmer.

Customer Service: Kelly Kapoor.

HR: Toby Flenderson.

Temp: Ryan Howard

Warehouse team: Darryl Philbin, Lonny Collins, Roy Anderson, Madge Madsen.

Vice President of Northeast Sales: Jan Levinson-Gould.

The fictionalised promo:

"The Office: an American workplace airing on PBS next month is a documentary following the employees of Scranton's own Dundee Mifflin Paper Company!

In this series, which will air starting in May, we get an in-depth look at many interesting local people.

There's Kevin Malone, the Falstaffian accountant.

There's Dwight Schrute, the Head Salesman forever chasing a manager position he will never get.

Andy Bernard, the rudderless trust fund child/middle manager whose incompetence is emblematic of a declining American economy. A possible explanation for his lack of career focus is his surprising musical talent.

Though it mostly focuses on the daily realities of office life, a lurid subplot reveals the hypocrisy of a local public figure embroiled in a gay affair while preaching family values."

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