Shamy's Wedding

Choosing a wedding date:

Originally, Amy wanted June 15th, but that was vetoed by Sheldon because that's the day after Flag Day. Everybody would be partied out.

It must be on a weekend.

Not near anybody's birthdays.

Not the weekend of Comic-Con.

A weekend date that's completely boring and uneventful.

Looking into the past, Sheldon reckons the perfect wedding date would have been May 19th 1996. The honeymoon would have coincided with the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet.

Episode 11:3

The Wedding Party

In season 11, episode 12 of The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon and Amy decided to take emotion out of the process when choosing who to be their best man/woman and their maid/gentleman of honour. They devised a series of scientific experiments and tasks to help them decide based on empirical metrics. In effect, the decision would be made by the data and not them. Therefore, hurting their friend's feelings without taking any responsibility.

Specialised tests/scenarios included:

~ They were given plain rice instead of fried rice from the Chinese takeaway. 

This constitutes a catering crisis. Howard steps up and takes care of it by ringing the restaurant and talking to them in Mandarin Chinese.

~ Making a toast. 

Inconclusive.

~ Asking for a sewing kit.

Penny brings one to them in one minute and 19 seconds.

Bernadette sent them one from Amazon using standard shipping.

~ Loyalty / keeping secrets.

Amy says to Raj that she needs to tell him something about Howard. Initially Raj says he does not like to engage in gossip. However, Raj then asks Amy if it's about his special underwear with a charcoal filter. Sheldon tells Bernadette that he can control the thermostat in Leonard's apartment with his phone and when Leonard makes Sheldon mad, he turns it up slightly. When Howard asks them what they are talking about, Bernadette says: literally nothing interesting.

~ Getting to the ceremony on time.

Sheldon asks Leonard to take him to Arcadia within the hour because the train store is having a sale. Leonard asks why Amy couldn't drive him. When Sheldon explains that it's because of the tradition that he cannot see Amy on the day of the train store sale. Leonard says he needs to see a doctor. Raj actually took Sheldon to the train store.

~ How well do our friends know us?

Penny knows that aunt Doe is Amy's favourite aunt; asks whether she figured out what that thing on her knee was and remembered that she does like to bake.

~ Dealing with cold feet.

At the comic book store, Sheldon tells Howard that he has had his eye on the limited edition Swamp Thing but now that he is about to buy it, he is having second thoughts. Howard thinks it's pretty expensive. Sheldon asks, what if it makes him happy waking up and seeing it every morning for the rest of his life. Howard questions this by saying: really, a walking clump of swamp grass?

~ A brain teaser about a group of people at dinner and you need to figure out where they can sit without fighting.

Mr Green can't sit next to anyone eating meat. Uncle Light Blue won't sit next to any of the darker colours. Aunt Orange can't sit next to the bar without Ms Pink saying: Jesus thinks you've had enough whisky. 

Clue: Dr Purple is a woman.

~ Amy gave everyone a plastic ring and told them to hold onto it.

Raj's dog, Cinnamon ate his.

~ Howard figured out that Sheldon and Amy were secretly rating them.

The Wedding Day

Date: Saturday May 12

Venue: Caltech Athenaeum Club 

Maid of Honour: Penny

Best Man: Leonard

Original Officiator: Wil Wheaton  

Final Surprise Officiator: Mark Hamill (as a favour to Howard for finding his dog Bark)

Notable wedding guests:

Larry Fowler and Mrs Fowler 

Mary Cooper, Missy Cooper and George Cooper Jr

Stuart Bloom and Denise

Bert Kibbler

Barry Kripke

Episode 11:24

The Honeymoon

Legoland: Consummating marriage in hotel room.

New York: Harry Potter play parts one and two; tour of the sites where Nikola Tesla lived, worked and slowly went crazy; and making vigorous socially sanctioned love.

Sheldon explains to Amy that he is not a particularly physical person but he wants to be a good husband to her and intimacy is part of that. Sheldon is worried that if he doesn't schedule their bedroom endeavours, then he may not think about them and Amy will grow cold and distant and seek solace in the arms of a heavily muscled longshoreman. 

Amy suggests a compromise: Sheldon can make all the schedules he wants but he doesn't tell her about them.

Sheldon agrees and says he will use an algorithm that will generate a pseudo-random schedule. 

It won't be a true random schedule because the generation of true random numbers remains an unsolved problem in computer science.

Episode 12:01