Outside written by Fat Oswald
Outside is cakes and tins of pop
And you can go into a shop,
To buy the chocolates that you like,
Or training shoes: the best is Nike.
Outside is flowers and trees galore
If we could leave the prison door.
There is girls with pretty faces
We could take them to nice places.
Outside is where we want to be,
Charlie, Carlton, Lee and me.
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You may resume your perambulations, ladies.
(Dwayne Lockhart)
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The paucity of your ambitions will, I expect, be matched by the parochialism of their execution.
(A fictionalised version of Stephen Fry)
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You're neither use nor ornament.
(Arthur Grice)
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When Charles thought about heaven, he imagined it to be an English pastoral landscape with farmers in moleskin trousers driving horse-drawn ploughs.
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A custard cream is so fondanty, a little like having sunshine in one's mouth, whereas a bourbon has a certain French earthiness about it.
(Charles trying to decide which biscuit to select from the compartmentalised tin)
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William thought to himself that he owes it to the nation to produce an heir to the throne, soon.
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An improvised supper of curried frankfurters, home grown root vegetables and parsnip wine.
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Tulips are terribly spontaneous in their habits.
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Prince Graham of Watford.
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Charles' ideal life
Live in a tiny shack in Cannock Moor, Scotland
Keep warm and cook over an open fire
Have very few possessions (a few rough cooking pots, a plate, a cup and bowl each; a knife, fork and spoon)
A plank bed covered in animal skins
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* Amusing quotes taken from 'Queen and I' and 'Queen Camilla' written by Sue Townsend *
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