Let’s ignore each other in the same room

Information derived from The New York Times

The term parallel play usually refers to young children playing independently alongside one another, but it can also be a valuable way to think about adult relationships.

For adults, what makes parallel play different than two people ignoring each other in the same room is a secure foundation underpinning their relationship.

Parallel play is one of the hallmarks of secure relationships, but it has to be done right. It’s all about availability. If you know that the other person is available and that, if you need them, they will pay attention to you, then you feel secure.

It should feel magical to be able to do things in parallel under the same roof.

The existence of parallel play in a partnership can be a bellwether for a healthy one.

Romantic partnerships aren’t the only relationships in which parallel play signals a secure attachment style though. Great friends are people you can be with and 'do nothing'.

While we don't' always need ‘alone time,’ sometimes we need ‘being together, but not actually interacting time.'  

It's a way to know that someone is there, that you aren’t alone, like a safety blanket while still being able to do what you want to be doing.

It can be really peaceful to just share a space with a great friend and engage as little or as much as we wanted.

Adults who are more introverted can especially benefit from parallel play. It can give the sense of time well spent within close relationships and allows for adults to pursue the activities they would like to prioritise at that moment.