Koala Face

How Rajesh demonstrates being a good house guest and a better spouse/partner: 

~ Rajesh gets Bernadette a glass of wine when she returns home from a long day at work; offers to cook dinner and asks about her day.

~ When Howard got home complaining that he felt sick from eating too many jelly beans, Rajesh didn't tell him how to fix it. Instead he rubbed Howard's belly and said "Aww, that must hurt".

~ Rajesh washed the dishes.

~ Rajesh picked up coffee in the morning:

• Soy peppermint mocha for Bernadette
• Hot chocolate for Howard

~ Rajesh knows Bernadette has an important presentation and tells her not to worry about it.

~ Rajesh tells Bernadette she needs a little fattening up because she's been looking too skinny lately.

~ Rajesh packed Howard a lunch and there was a note inside that said "Go get them!".

~ Rajesh tells Sheldon that he might find the support he is looking for if he realises that relationships are a give and take and that Amy can only be there for him as much as he is there for her. 

~ Rajesh reminds Amy that she needs to be patient with Sheldon instead of pressuring him to accept intimacy on her terms.

S7:E10

How Rajesh bonds well with Penny when he moves in with Leonard and Penny temporarily:

~ They do morning yoga together before work.

~ He listens to Penny talk about her work colleagues.

~ They do facials together.

~ Penny used some of Rajesh's eye cream. He thought someone looked brighter and tighter.

~ They go shopping together.

~ They wear matching tops.

~ Rajesh teaches Penny how to taste wine and appreciate it. (Taking a sip; swirling it around your mouth; trying to notice the flavours, the tannins, the textures).

S10:E19

Places Bernadette doesn't like going to with Howard:

• The magic store
• The Doctor Who convention
• The National Belt Buckle Collectors meet and greet 

S10:E19

Amy and Sheldon's ground rules for collaborating professionally together (biology and physics coming together):

1. We are on the same team, we are not in competition.
2. Disagreements can happen politely. There is no need to call an idea stupid.
3. To avoid getting frustrated, we take built-in breaks and reward our successes with a small treat.

The revised ground rules:

1. We are on the same team but it is a competition.
2. There are definitely stupid questions and those who ask them can be told so right to their stupid face.
3. Fair topics for insult include educational pedigree, scientific field, intellectual prowess, and mamas.

S10:E19

When Sheldon's away, the mice will play:

~ The tree decorating rules are out the window which means that: 

• You don't have to use his ornament spacing template 
• Star Trek and Star Wars characters can go on the same branch

S7:E11

If it weren't for Sheldon, the gang would never have met/not be together:

~ No one would know Amy.

~ Leonard wouldn't be dating Penny (Leonard wouldn't have asked Penny out if she didn't live across the hall from her).

~ Howard wouldn't know Bernadette (If Leonard wasn't with Penny, she would never have set Bernadette up with Howard).

~ Penny would have ended up with an idiot like Zach.

~ With Leonard out of the picture, Penny might have turned her amorous attention onto Sheldon. 

~ Penny would never have met comic book legend Stan Lee.

~ At least Leonard, Howard and Rajesh would have always been friends. 

S7:E11

Emily or Cinnamon?

Howard gives you actual quotes that he has heard Raj say and you have to guess whether he was talking to his girlfriend or to his dog:

~ I want you to know, the bed feels so lonely without you in it.

Answer: Cinnamon.

~ Check it out, I got us matching sweaters.

Answer: Cinnamon.

~ A man can care deeply about a woman and a pet. It's not strange.

Answer: Emily.

~ You're so lucky, you have the shiniest hair.

Answer: Cinnamon.

~ It's just so perfect that we're both Libras.

Answer: Cinnamon.

~ How can such a little girl eat such a big steak?

The answer was never confirmed but we assume it would be Cinnamon.

S8:E13

Why a turtle is the ideal pet according to Sheldon and Amy

• They don't shed fur
• They don't make noise
• For Halloween you can dress him up as a cobblestone
• If the turtle ever goes beserk, Sheldon knows he can outrun the him

S8:E17

What Sheldon thinks of his time with Amy

As a stick of Fruit Stripe gum: sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavourless lump of sadness.

S9:E8

Sheldon asks Raj and Howard to help him find another girlfriend after Amy breaks up with him

His requirements:

• An educated intelligent woman who shares his interests while retaining her own unique point of view
• Be kind, patient and most importantly, unable to imagine life with him by 10 o'clock tonight

Raj and Howard puts a post on Craigslist that says: "World-class Caltech physicist seeking girlfriend. If interested, solve the following puzzles for a chance to meet him".

The puzzles were made extremely challenging to eliminate unworthy candidates and set up like a scavenger hunt where the last puzzle gives the winner Sheldon's contact information.

The Sheldon Cooper Girlfriend Challenge involves:

• Dividing the atomic weight of the best noble gas by the number of colours in the oldest national flag still in use
• Then using that number as the average speed to calculate the travel time from Mordor to the Shire
• Taking her first step towards a lifetime of laughter, love, and best of all, rules.
• Translating Klingon in ancient Sanskrit

The woman who can solve these puzzles prove that she's intelligent, tenacious and so socially awkward she has nothing better to do on a Saturday night.

S9:E8

Military-grade spy equipment that Bernadette has access to when she used to keep close tabs on boyfriends

• Binoculars
• Parabolic microphone

S9:E8

Sheldon's list of safe topics of conversation

~ Since last we spoke, have you acquired any pets?

~ Since last we spoke, have you planned or gone on any vacations?

~ The weather 

~ Do you whittle and if so, what kind of knife do you use?

(This list was printed off from the internet in an effort to reduce awkwardness as Sheldon and Amy learn to function as friends).

S9:E9

Grandma by Calvin Klein

~ Roses

~ Bengay

~ Dr Scholls foot powder

S9:E14

The various options Sheldon and Amy considered for their wedding:

~ Numbering system for the tables: Roman or Dewey Decimal.

~ Invitations: hologram projected out of R2-D2 or Old English calligraphy on Egyptian papyrus.

~ Ring-bearer: R2-D2.

~  Amy arrives in a Little House on the Prairie style horse-drawn buggy where she is met with an honour guard of Stormtroopers. Or Amy arrives in a replica of Luke Skywalker's landspeeder.

~ Ushers: Amy's cousins dressed in frontier frock coats.

~ First dance = no first dance.

~ Second dance = first dance. Or no dance at all.

~ The whole wedding party getting rings. Sheldon and Amy gets one ring to rule them all.

Wedding revenge plan: Suggestions to make the wedding worse for each other so that neither will enjoy it

~ Instead of throwing confetti, release butterflies.

~ Officiant: that husky Spider-Man that hangs out at the Chinese Theatre.

~ Wedding toasts in Latin.

~ Vows in Klingon.

~ Flower girl: a dog. (And guess what he'll be scattering instead of petals?!)

~  A cake made of salt instead of sugar or a cake iced with congealed gravy.

~ Leonard suggests: Sheldon as the groom!

~ The whole wedding party getting rings. Sheldon and Amy gets one ring to rule them all.

~ Centre-pieces: asbestos. 

S11:E10

Names that Howard and Bernadette considered for their son:

Suggested by Bernadette: Michael (after her dad); Greg; Paul.

Suggested by Howard: Harry (like Potter or Houdini); Al; Max; Ted; Kevin; Walla Walla.

Suggested by Penny: Christian.

Suggested by Raj: Sherman. 

Suggested by Sheldon: Ranatanata; Ozymandias; Bysshe.

Mentioned by Amy: Elliott.

Final decision: Neil Michael Wolowitz (Neil for Armstrong, Gaiman and Diamond. Michael because Bernadette had to get six stitches after giving birth).

S11:E16

Sheldon and Amy consider what type of gathering to hold in their new home

Meal: Lunch, brunch, dinner.

Afternoon tea, formal tea.

Party: Cocktail, Tupperware, surprise, West Coast.

S10:E06

Sheldon's Three-Person Chess

How he solved the balanced centre combat-area problem: transitional quadrilateral to triangular tessellation.

Two new chess pieces he invented: the serpent and the old woman. When the serpent slithers to an opposing players piece, that piece is considered poisoned and will die within two moves unless it gets to the old woman in time. In which case, she sucks out the poison turning her into the grand empress: a piece combining the power of the knight, queen and serpent.

Potential new chess piece: Prince Joey - the King's feeble-minded but well meaning cousin. Everytime he moves, there's a one in five chance of him killing himself.

S4:E22

The best organism for human beings to merge with

Reasons why Sheldon would merge with the lichen

You would be human, fungus and algae. Triple threat. Like three-bean salad.

At a beautiful outdoor concert: As a human, you can appreciate Beethoven. As a fungus you have a terrific view growing out of a towering maple tree. No expensive concessions because as an algae, you just snack on sunlight.

Reasons why Raj would merge with a swan

The resulting hybrid would have the advanced industrial civilisation of a human and the long graceful neck he has always dreamed of having.

Reasons why Leonard would merge with a horse

Mostly for the height and a little bit for the genital girth.

Reasons why Howard would merge with a kangaroo

He would be a kangajew: the first of his people to dunk a basketball.

S5:E22

Sheldon talks football with Mike Rostenkowski

Mike: How do you not make a first down there?

Sheldon: They passed against a nickel defence. They should have run it off-tackle.

Mike: What do you think they ought to do now?

Sheldon: I would throw a quick slant to a wide-out given that the defence is showing blitz.

Mike: You remember the Thanksgiving game when it snowed in Dallas?

Sheldon: 1993. Leon Lett blew the game in the final seconds and the Dolphins emerged victorious.

S7:E9

Why fencing/sword fighting holds a certain elegant appeal according to Sheldon

• It meets many of the group's personal criteria for a sport
• It's indoors so no need to wear sunscreen
• No throwing, no catching, no running
• No gym shorts that can be yanked down or up
• The word touché comes from fencing and would be the opportunity to use it in a non-metaphorical sense

S9:E5

Things that give Sheldon the heebie-jeebies

Touching:

~ Scotch tape

~ Peaches

~ Felt

S10:E11

Leonard's gift to Sheldon: a trip to an historic railway worth US$4000

"Congratulations, the bearer of this certificate is entitled to the ultimate train experience at the Nevada Northern Railway. You are at the throttle. You are the engineer. You are running the locomotive."

Sleeping accommodation: choice of a turn of the century railway bunkhouse or a working caboose.

On the first day, you get to drive a steam engine.

On the second day, you get to drive a diesel engine.

If you volunteer to do track maintenance and paperwork, you can stay as long as you want.

There will be a test based on a 125-page engineers manual. You get to learn things such as hand signals etc.

There are also dozens of railroad crossings that you have to blow the whistle for.

S10:E15