Season One
~ Grace's preferred alcoholic drink: Vodka Martini served straight up. Very dry. Two olives on the side.
~ Do you think [oysters] realise they live in their own spoon? (Sol)
~ If anybody is gonna sit on Ryan Gosling's face, it's gonna be me! (Grace)
~ Have you ever wondered if Ben and Jerry make more than ice cream together? (Frankie)
~ Peyote cactus tea will propel me on a vision quest to find insight, tranquility and acceptance. The tea is very bitter, but the Indians believed that if your heart is pure, the bitterness will not be tasted. (Frankie)
~ Am I supposed to be able to smell colour? (Grace)
~ Your anger is frightening the sand. (Frankie)
~ Just because we are out now doesn't mean we're going to be gay with a vengeance. (Robert)
~ Grace's staying over bag: Makeup bag, couple of outfits, good purses, jewellery box, grandma's afghan, book on nightstand, slippers.
~ You haven't seen him since he went all Stanley Kowalski on your front lawn. (Brianna)
~ Gay-mageddon. (Coyote)
~ Arma-gayden. (Brianna)
~ Steak salad. Very rare. No croutons. And an iced tea. On second thoughts, a dry vodka martini with a twist. (Grace)
~ Frankie's homemade yam lube 'vagacadabra'. Personal lubricant is for everybody! (Frankie)
~ Magical. Life affirming. Transformative. (Grace)
~ This is love: to fly towards a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First, to let go of life and finally to take a step without feet. (Guy quoting Rumi)
~ Wild salmon not farm-raised salmon. No red meat.
A DJ who would play oldies with a positive earth-centric message. (Robert)
~ Frankie's subconscious: Joanne.
~ Sol's subconscious: Armando.
~ The trouble with your socialist dessert is that it's very rich... (Grace)
~ Frankie's natural pro biotic drink for a pregnant Mallory: honey-mannuka shake with chard.
~ What Mallory prefers to drink when pregnant: ovaltine and KFC gravy.
~ Frankie guesses the name of Mallory and Mitch's second baby: Gladys, Urusla, Stargazer Vera.
~ Robert and Sol tastes Jeff and Peter's wedding appetizers: strawberry roses, mussel fritters, potato bests, crab cake clusters, tiger prawn twisters, noodles.
~ Vocal fast. (Frankie)
~ Corgis are the preferred mode of transportation for woodland faeries. (Frankie)
Season Two
~ I love you for who you are
and who I am with you.
From this date forth, I freely
and joyfully join my life with yours.
Wherever you go, I will go.
Whatever you face, I will face.
I will care for you should you become ill.
I will comfort you should you feel sad.
I will bathe in your joy.
I am yours completely and forever.
I take you as my partner for life,
and I will give myself… to no other. (Robert)
~ Do you happily make the decision with a full heart to join your lives, to fulfill your dreams, to embrace adventures and create memories together? Then by the power vested in me by the magic of the world wide web, I now pronounce you married. (Frankie)
From this date forth, I freely
and joyfully join my life with yours.
Wherever you go, I will go.
Whatever you face, I will face.
I will care for you should you become ill.
I will comfort you should you feel sad.
I will bathe in your joy.
I am yours completely and forever.
I take you as my partner for life,
and I will give myself… to no other. (Robert)
~ Do you happily make the decision with a full heart to join your lives, to fulfill your dreams, to embrace adventures and create memories together? Then by the power vested in me by the magic of the world wide web, I now pronounce you married. (Frankie)
~ I get a lot of help from my two nutritionists: Martini and Rossi (Grace)
~ Sol's wallet: salmon coloured raffia woven in the shape of a tortoise. It says 'Chill Out' on it.
~ Phil's preferred alcoholic drink: a rye Manhatten served up in a rocks glass with an orange peel instead of a cherry.
~ I've got watermelon. It's everybody's favourite low calorie food. Basically celery in a Lily Pullitzer dress. (Frankie)
~ Inhale peace. Exhale joy. (Babe)
Season Three
~ Please let the minutes reflect that I ate my cornflakes before work, at the kitchen island. Along with half a pineapple stuffed with cookie dough. (Frankie)
~ Silk: nature's sexiest fabric. (Robert)
~ You cannot kill crickets. They are Mother Earth's tiny musicians. (Frankie)
~ Frankie's chapter two: cookie dough taster.
~ I call it: Untitled Poodle with Additional Poodles. (Frankie)
~ It was actually an artisanal soda called Mr Bubbly. (Sol)
~ Doctor Mark's tea: marshmallow root, dandelion leaf, reishi mushrooms, wild lettuce and Mark Bark. Contains a lot of star constellation energy. You are the student of the leaf and the tea is your plant teacher. Just drink mindfully. Try not to throw it up as it tastes like horse shit.
~ I'll ugly cry and Coyote will write a series of alt-rock song crimes. (Bud)
Season Four
~ We're gonna need a gender decision party when the child is 12. (Frankie)
~ Frankie's beloved studio used to consist of drugs stashed behind the shingle with the hook; drafting table; pleather couch; vindaloo stain on the ceiling.
~ Bud and Allison's Scavengender Hunt riddles:
- Why is the baby strawberry crying? The baby strawberry was crying because his parents were in a jam.
- What is brown and sticky? A stick.
- At a wedding, you share me. At a urinal, you pee on me. What am I? Cake.
~ What Sol thinks everybody likes:
- Frankie: banana bread
- Coyote: Saint Andre soft cheese
- Mallory: pimento loaf
- Bud: stuffed grape leaves
~ (Robert): The three phases of sober Grace:
Phase 1: Irritability
The complete loss of all politeness and all social courtesy.
Phase 2: Euphoria
Now this is a tricky one because she is so lovely and you'll think the worse is over but you'll be wrong. It's just the calm before...
Phase 3: Rage
Pure unfiltered rage and you don't want to be close when it hits. She will cut to the core of you. She will mix lies with the truth. She can't control it. It controls her.
(Grace): a new phase:
Phase 4: Remorse
Coupled with terror.
Season Five
~ Frankie likes Cheerios folded in her omelette (and sometimes sprinkled on top) and takes her coffee with Mountain Dew.
~ It's a gay park, everybody's rehearsing something. (Robert)
~ Is he a warlock who diagnoses people based on the behaviour of the birds outside his office? (Grace)
~ From Frankie's haiku journal:
Who is the you who
The yurt is all sex and raisins
You're inauthentic
~ Rabbi Sun Bear doesn't have dreads. (Bud)
~ Don't try to slap your heteronormative cis labels on us. (Frankie)
~ Leo's not used to breaking bread with capitalists. (Frankie)
~ Bud and Allison tastes Jeff and Peter's wedding appetizers (taking into consideration of Allison's adult allergies): homemade ube chip with line caught skipjack and an activated charcoal glaze.
~ Frankie makes a cake-yata for the wedding. It has the taste of a cake and the fun of a pinata.
Season Six
~ Two-person conflict resolution sweater.
~ Chore whores.
~ I will hurt you non-violently. (Frankie)
~ Sol narrows down his research into what to do for his and Robert's honeymoon into four categories:
- Getting away from it all
- Learning adventure
- Feeling good because we're doing good
- Rumpus, general
~ Boyfriends have an annoying habit of becoming husbands. (Miriam)
~ I was going for a Thunderdome meets Floyd Pepper from The Muppets vibe. (Frankie)
~ The more the weirder. (Coyote)
~ Grace Number 5 - Beach Rose scent: margarita cocktail; crisp sea wind; beach roses; oleander; lime from a cabo wabo shot... Or otherwise known as Sea Mist linen spray by Trust Us Organics.
~ I already got an errand cape. (Frankie)
Season Seven
~ Next time, just marry a gay criminal and check off all the boxes. (Frankie)
~ Frankie hid the cash in Beatles inspired places around the beach house:
- Paul: Mrs Paul's fish sticks
- John: Yellow Submarine - yellow kayak
- George: While My Guitar Gently Weeps - while my guitar gently sweeps - dust pan and brush
- Pete Best: chess
~ Because I'm ambulatory and curious. (Sol)
~ Wiffle waffle brunch. (Bud)
~ M'Challah: Jewish holiday made up by Sol and Frankie that involved the celebration of bread.
~ Thursdays for Joan-Margaret: Trolling for tails at Walden Villas.
~ If I can't use chopsticks, who am I? (Frankie)
~ Frankie reckons she never really did anything big because:
- She never became a famous artist
- The pot strain named after her turned out to be Indica
- Her manifesto was rejected by The New York Times
~ The one thing that Frankie never wanted to be: just like everybody else.
~ Chicken Paprikash recipe provided by Grace's brother, Jeffrey:
- 1 x quartered chicken
- 1 x diced onion
- 2 x cloves of garlic
- 2 x tablespoons of Hungarian paprika
- 1 x pinch of chili flakes
- Chicken stock
- Sour cream
* Quotes and information taken from Grace and Frankie *
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