Your FRIEND's Parents

Quotes from...

Monica and Ross Geller's mother

Judy Geller. Doctors thought she was barren. Unconsciously favours her son Ross because he was hailed a medical marvel. Openly critical of her daughter Monica.

"What's that curry taste?" (after tasting one of Monica's amuse bouches).

"Well they don't have to know that..." (after Monica clarifies that she doesn't own a restaurant, she works in a restaurant).

"Oh, we're having spaghetti, that's...easy..." (when Monica asks Ross to help her with the spaghetti).

"Well at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar" (whilst talking about Rachel running out on her wedding and simultaneously having a dig at Monica).

Judy turns to Monica and says "And you knew about this?" (when Ross tells his parents that Carol is a lesbian; she is living with a woman named Susan; she is pregnant with his child and that Carol and Susan are going to raise the baby).

S1:E2

"You know, I think it might be time for you to start wearing night cream" (when she appears to be comforting Monica).

S1:E8

"What's this, blue nail polish? That's what your grandmother's hands looked like when we found her" (reacting to Monica's blue nails).

"Richard raved about the food at his party, of course, you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you weren't sleeping with anyone there. Though, at least that would be something" (why she hired Monica to cater for her party).

"I got these in case you pulled a Monica" (why Judy had frozen lasagnes).

S4:E3

"We know how expensive weddings can be. Besides, this may be the only wedding we get to throw" (Judy explaining to the Walthams why they are happy to pay for half of Ross and Emily's wedding and another dig at Monica).

S4:E23

"That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds. All right, Joey, if you want to leave, just leave. Rachel, no you weren't supposed to put beef in the trifle, it did not taste good. Phoebe, I'm sorry, I think Jacque Cousteau is dead. Monica, why you had to hide the fact that you are in an important relationship is beyond me. Ross, drugs, divorced again?! Chandler, you've been Ross' best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems and now you've taken on Monica as well. I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being"

S6:E9

"While we think it's simply marvelous that you're having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why we told them you're married" (Judy explaining to Ross and Rachel  during her and Jack's 35th wedding anniversary party).

S8:E18

"Honestly Ross, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and...humped" (Judy trying to convince a reluctant Ross to use her grandmother's engagement ring to propose to Rachel, who is about to give birth to his child).

S8:E23

Monica and Ross Geller's father

Jack Geller. Pretends to be a lawyer around his in laws.

"You're independent and always have been. Even when you were a kid and you were chubby and had no friends, you were just fine" (attempting to defend Monica).

"There are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars with his museum and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are. I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer. I hear about all these women trying to have it all and I thank God my little Harmonica doesn't seem to have that problem" (again, attempting to defend Monica).

S1:E2

"All right, fine. But I just want to say, I'm not paying for your wine cellar you 'thieving, would-be-speaking-German' if it weren't for us, 'cheap little man'!

S4:E24

"Who serves steak when there's no place to sit? I mean, how are we supposed to eat this?" (complaining about the food catered by the Walthams at Ross and Emily's wedding reception).

S5:E1

"And we kinda figured about the porch swing" (when it was revealed that it was Monica who broke their porch swing not hurricane Gloria).

S6:E9

Rachel Greene's father

Dr Leonard Greene. Drinks scotch, neat. Wears bifocals. Smokes cigarettes. 

"What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the same kind of person who works in a library" (when Rachel explains that Ross is allergic to lobster).

"Waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu"

"This is nice. I pay $200 for dinner, you put down 20 and you come out looking like Mr Big Shot" (Dr Greene's reaction when he finds out that Ross tried to add more to the original 4% tip and tears up the cheque and tells Ross to pay for dinner).

"Nice hair. What did you do, swim here?" (referring to Ross' wet hair/overuse of hair gel).

"What if somebody steals something? How are you going to run after them with one leg shorter than the other? (when he finds out Rachel goes to a chiropractor called Dr Robert Bobby to help with her 'allignment' and the fact that she doesn't have renter's insurance).

S3:E7

"But it's chicken. I'll never understand you lesbians" (when Phoebe explains that she doesn't eat meat and doesn't eat chicken either).

"The '74 is sewage. Why would you bring me sewage? Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter?" (being rude to waiter who brings him the '74 Lafite instead of the '75).

"Who's the father? On no, please don't tell me it's her" (when Rachel tells him she is pregnant and Phoebe is sitting on the same table).

S8:E8

Rachel Greene's mother

Mrs Sandra Greene.

"I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house".

"Oh my god, there's an unattractive nude man playing the cello" (whilst staring out of Monica's apartment window).

"You didn't marry your Barry, honey, but I married mine" (why she thought Rachel would understand why she wants to leave/divorce her husband).

"It's not something that I want to pursue but it's nice to know I have options" (telling Rachel and Monica how she danced with a wonderfully large woman and that three other girls made eyes with her at the buffet).

S2:E11

"Have you picked your nanny yet? Now, I don't want you to just use your housekeeper because that will split her focus" (talking to Rachel during her baby shower).

"It's like you're a cave person" (when Rachel tells her she's not getting a nanny and she doesn't have a housekeeper).

S8:E20