Cloud 9 Superstore

~  Store number 1217, Ozark Highlands Road, St Louis, Missouri.

~ Have a heavenly day! 

~ Moments of beauty.

~ Colour blind, is colour kind.

~ You are the best in the world at being you.

~ Halloween version of Scrooge: Booge.

~ Ooh, peer pressure from a group of people I don't respect, now that's scary! 

~ Life is fine, at Cloud 9. Life is great, work starts at eight.

~ Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffer-ring.

~ All jails are masturbation jails.

~ Castrated garden gnome.

~ Heavenly values, down to earth prices.

~ Chateo (Cheyenne and Mateo's pretend life style brand / multimedia platform).

~ Do you think space mailman will ever become a thing?

🎵 Pizza in the morning. Pizza in the evening. Pizza at supper time. When pizza's on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime! 🎵

~ Self care: lying on a diamond bed and being fed grapes by unicorns.

~ ...because when we reach out to others, we reach into our hearts.

~ I've never been profiled before, except racially.

~ So now Parker's here, with his wet face, great.

~ Happy St Patrick's Day shoppers. Cabbage and corned beef are 20% off. If you're dying to impress your friends with wet meat, now's the time.

~ Customer Safari: gecko lady; dad with three kids on leaches; blowing noses in towels; juggalo; aggressively patriotic t-shirt; disturbingly long nails; one tuxedo kid; adult baby; steampunk guy; clothes same shade as skin; pet in baby carrier; VSCO girl.

~ Everything looks better on Michelle Obama.

~ She's taking a saxophone lesson. She wants to surprise you with a smooth jazz version of a contemporary hit.

~ Fish and Strawberries.

~ Turnt.

~ Who wants to go to California anyway, it's just like pretentious Florida.

~ And the way they manage their water resources? Get out of here California.

~ The theme is winter lumber mill. It's non-negotiable.

~ It's like two mouldy sponges puked on each other.

~ I'm manager today so if they smelt it, it's as if I dealt it.

~ Actively useless.

~ Decentre and start listening.

~ Even with the word 'forced', a pizza party only ever  sounds awesome.

* Quotes from the TV series: Superstore *

Glenn Sturgis' Cloud 9 Management Overview:

Typing using the 'home row' method.

Ordering ice pops.

ACEST: Always Check Everything Seven Times. Septuple check purchase orders.

🎵 Mark the unit's inventory price and unit quantity.

Then triple check the product name cos thorough is what you want to be.

Then look it over one more time in case there's a mistake.

Then sign it, date it, click submit and throw it in the lake 🎵

Glenn's yellow notebook tidbits:

• Ronald Stimple (distribution centre): wears a mouth guard at night, 47 years old, in the handball league and had a deaf girlfriend when he was 16 and he's thinking about a vasectomy.

• Fern Rosato: married to a woman.

• Donovan: tore his meniscus playing handball; has a bulldog named velvet; on April 7th his wife was going out of town for a month; on April 21st he had "pounded a waitress until her eyes rolled back in her head."

Tuning into the rhythms of the store by wearing a blindfold on the shop floor. Trusting your inner manager.

Identifying rule violations in the clothing section: the trash can is overflowing; that fluorescent light bulb is out; that mannequin is missing an arm; there is a bottle of grape soda that doesn't belong in women's wear and it's leaking; these sweaters aren't really folded; Brett should be wearing a shirt.

A great manager should be able to do this job backwards and on roller skates.

* Information taken from Superstore episode 4:9 *