Saturday, 1 May 2021

Introverts by Gary Turk

Watch the official YouTube video


"I enjoy having time to myself.

It’s not a shy thing or an anti-social thing; it’s just an introvert thing. We’re the type who need to be alone, on our own, Our biggest gripe is to read ‘unknown’ on our phone. Because it’s like no one understands, that having bread sticks and Netflix still counts as having plans, I’ll expand… A plan by definition, is an intention or decision, that you’ve planned in advance, and so, if by chance I should answer, that I’m busy all night, know that bingeing on a series just might be all right. We just do what makes us feel good, we’re far from depressed, we’re actually the opposite, less likely to be stressed. It takes less to make us happy; we’re ok by ourselves, because we’re friends with our thoughts, and the books on our shelves. Just leave us in peace, avoid knocking our doors, any unexpected guests will get ignored on all fours. We can be chatty when we want to, just not groups that are large, as socializing drains us and then we have to recharge. I mean, we still go to parties, but we keep our friends by our side, and we'd always head home early if we weren't waiting for a ride. Because sometimes it’s tough, and sometimes it hurts, to live in a world designed for extroverts, from classrooms to open offices, we don’t see the attraction, we do all our best work when we’re free from distraction. We rely on solitude, it’s where we work and we grow, like so many introverts you might happen to know, JK Rowling, Dr Seuss, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Einstein, Gandhi, the amount is absurd, so many quiet choices with voices still heard! Let’s whisper to the rooftops that introvert’s just a word. So never feel bad when you want to go hide, as the world may just need what is growing inside, Taking shelter in our minds is what keeps us alive, just like turtles need their shells if they want to survive. We’re not sad or depressed, we’re happier this way; we just want to be alone for a while. And that is okay."

Formula 86 Delayed Action Mouse-Maker

The Recipe

Boil the wrong end of the telescope for 21 hours until it gets soft.

Take 45 brown mice and chop off their tails with a carving knife and fry the tails in hair-oil until nice and crisp.

Simmer the mice in frog-juice for one hour.

Set a 24-hour alarm clock to go off at nine o'clock tomorrow morning. One clock will make enough for a thousand children. Roast it in the oven until crisp and tender.

Take the boiled telescope and fried mouse tails and cooked mice and roasted alarm clock and put them all together in a mixer. Then mix them at full speed. This will give a nice thick paste. While the mixer is still mixing, add the yolk of a gruntle's egg.

Then mix in the claw of crabcruncher; the beak of blabbersnitch; the snout of grobblesquirt and the tongue of a catspringer.

When you have mixed everything together in the mixer, you will have a green liquid.

Put one droplet of this liquid into a chocolate or sweet.


* Information derived from The Witches written by Roald Dahl *


FRIENDS Test

The initial provocation: 
During Season 4, Episode 12, Joey knows it's Monica's laundry day which means she is wearing her old lady underpants.
Chandler knows that Monica can only eat tic-tac's in even numbers.


Challenge 1: Chandler and Joey to name all remaining five items in Rachel's shopping bag within six guesses (apart from the half-eaten box of cookies).
Wager: $10
Adjudicator: Ross.
Guesses: 
~ Apples (yes)
~ Tortilla chips (yes)
~ Yoghurt (yes)
~ Diet soda (yes)
~ Orange juice (no)
~ Scotch tape (yes)


Rematch/Challenge 2: Personal questions test.
Wager: $100
Test questions setter: Ross.
Each team will answer ten questions. The first team to answer the most questions wins.
Categories: Fears & Pet Peeves; Ancient History; Literature; It's All Relative.

Chandler & Joey
Fears and Pet Peeves: What is Monica's biggest pet peeve?
Chandler & Joey's answer: Animals dressed as humans.
That is correct.

Monica & Rachel
Fears & Pet Peeves: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejesus out of him? 
Monica & Rachel's answer: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance.
That is correct.

Chandler & Joey
It's All Relative: Monica and I had a grandmother who died. You both went to her funeral. Name that grandmother.
Chandler and Joey's answer: Althea.
Althea is correct.

Monica & Rachel
Literature: Every week the TV guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Rachel's answer: It's Chandler Bing.
Correct answer: Miss Chanandler Bong.

After a while, the score is 9 to 8 in favour to Chandler and Joey. Monica and Rachel needs to get the next question correct to stay in the game:

Monica & Rachel
It's All Relative: What is the name of Chandler's father's Las Vegas all male burlesque?
Monica and Rachel's answer: Viva Las Gaygas.
Unfortunately that is correct.

Tie break situation
Lightning round: 30 seconds. All the questions you can answer. 
Wager increased: If Monica and Rachel wins, Chandler and Joey have to get rid of the rooster and the duck. If Chandler and Joey wins, they get Monica and Rachel's apartment.

~ Chandler & Joey
Q1) What was Monica's nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
A) Big fat goalie.
Correct.

Q2) Rachel claims this is her favourite movie.
A) Dangerous Liaisons.
Correct.

Q3) Her actual favourite movie is?
A) Weekend at Bernie's.
Correct. 

Q4) In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
A) (in audible).
Correct answer: Her ear.

Q5) Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
A) 11.
Correct.

4/5

~ Monica & Rachel
Q1) What is Joey's favourite food?
A) Sandwiches.
Correct.

Q2) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast?
A) 14?
No, 19.

Q3) Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
A) Maurice.
Correct.

Q4) His profession was?
A) Space cowboy.
Correct.

Q5) What is Chandler Bing's job?
A) Numbers and processing and he carries a briefcase. Transponding. Transpondster.
No correct answers given and out of time.

3/5 

Chandler and Joey wins.


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