...for the stinking revolting off-spring of doting parents:
"Your son Maximillian is a total wash-out. I hope you have a family business you can push him into when he leaves school because he sure as heck won't get a job anywhere else"
"It is a curious truth that grasshoppers have their hearing-organs in the sides of the abdomen. Your daughter, Vanessa, judging by what she's learnt this term, has no hearing-organs at all."
"The periodical cicada spends six years as a grub underground, and not more than six days as a free creature of sunlight and air. Your son Wilfred has spent six years as a grub in this school and we are still waiting for him to emerge from the chrysalis."
"Fiona has the same glacial beauty as an iceberg, but unlike the iceberg she has absolutely nothing below the surface."
* Information derived from 'Matilda' written by Roald Dahl *
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