Giant Ants

Sheldon's Mother

A kind, loving, religiously fanatical right-wing Texan with a slightly out of scale head and a mild Dr Pepper addiction.

S3:E17.

Cool Modes of Transportation according to Sheldon Cooper:

1. Jet pack
2. Hoverboard
3. Transporter
4. Batmobile
5. Giant ant

Information derived from The Big Bang Theory S3:E18.

The Dogapus:

A hybrid of dog and octopus.  Man's underwater best friend. A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls; no one can hate that.

S4:E2

Cheesecake Factory orders:

Quesadilla with the soy cheese for lactose intolerant Leonard.

Shrimp Caesar salad with no almonds for the highly allergic kosher-only-on-the-High-Holidays Howard.

Suddenly back on the Hindu wagon Raj: meat lover's pizza, no meat.

Sheldon's barbecue bacon cheeseburger: barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side.

S2:E7

Leonard is served food by Sheldon:

Factory Burrito Grande, no cheese, no sour cream.

Black beans, not pinto beans.

Double guacamole.

No cilantro.

Lettuce shredded, not chopped.

S3:E14

Sheldon's favourite systems of transmitting the written word:

Stone tablets

Skywriting

Scrolls

Best tasting jelly:

Grape jelly

Worst tasting jelly:

Petroleum jelly

S6:E11

Star Wars Day:

Admiral Ackbar's Snack Bar serving:

~ R2 Decaf

~ Cafe Au Leia

~ Chai Tea-3PO

~ Attacks of the Scones

S7:E22

Leonard's Tea:

Earl Grey served with honey and unsweetened almond milk.

S10:E13

The order Sheldon would eat his friends in the event of an apocalypse:

Entree - Penny

Cheese course - Leonard

Dessert - Amy

S10:E18

Sheldon's Perfect Dessert:

Yellow cake shaped like a dinosaur with chocolate frosting, scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, not touching.

S11:E3

A worthy chair according to Sheldon Cooper:

~ Alligns the lumbar

~ Cradles the coccyx

~ Balances the buttocks

S5:E2

What younger Sheldon and present-day Sheldon is thinking of:

~ Robot monkey butler

Sheldon re-evaluating stuff:

Sheldon following the example of 17th century philosopher René Descartes who subjected all his beliefs to radical doubt so that he could build a bedrock belief and build his cognitive life back up on firm principles.

~ Tea is nothing but leaf soup

~ Flags are strippers of the emblem world

S12:E10

Champagne with splenda

Also called a Dr Cooper because he is also sweet and bubbly. PhDelicious.

S12:E11

Sheldon's attitude towards online dating

The algorithms used by matchmaking sites are complete hokum.

Upon his first meeting with Amy Farrah Fowler: You have been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely.

S3:E23

A clowder or glaring of cats

Sheldon thinks that cats make wonderful companions as they don't argue or question your intellectual authority.

Sheldon's cat names: 

• Robert Oppenheimer
• Enrico Fermi
• Richard Feynman
• Edward Teller
• Otto Frisch
• Zazzles (originally called Hermon von Hermholtz but he was so zazzy)
• Wolfgang Panofsky
• Victor Weisskopf

Amy likes cats because they are the epitome of indifference.

S4:E3

Overheard at the Cheesecake Factory

According to Sheldon, if we lived in a world where slow-moving xenon produced light then Raj would be correct. Also pigs would fly; his derriere would produce cotton candy and The Phantom Menace would be a timeless classic.

According to Raj, if Sheldon were a superhero, his name would be Captain Arrogant and his superpower would be arrogance. Sheldon retorts by saying that if his superpower were arrogance then his name would be Dr Arroganto.

According to Leonard, watching Raj and Sheldon work together is like if Alien and predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.

According to Penny, she is not going to bother asking the guys if they wanted dessert because she knows that:

• Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays
• Even if Raj wanted something he couldn't tell her
• Howard won't order anything but will come up with some sort of skeevy comment involving the words pie or cheesecake
• Leonard's lactose intolerant and can't eat anything here without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal

S4:E4

Train Day

Sheldon always tell people that if they have only one day in Los Angeles to make it a train day:

• The fun starts with brunch at Carney's in Studio City (a hot dog stand in a converted railroad dining car)

• Next stop, Travel Town (an outdoor museum featuring 43 railroad engines, cars and other rolling stock from the 1880s to the 1930s

• Finally, off to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood for dinner at the Hollywood Carney's (a hot dog stand in a different converted railroad dining car

S4:E6

Sheldon's Lotion and Unguent Collection

Sheldon is no stranger to the crimson scourge that is dermatitis.

Topical steroids categorized into:

• Ointment or cream
• With or without a numbing agent
• Prescription or non prescription strength

Leonard chose a cream with a numbing agent. 

Sheldon offers Leonard a 2009 AnaMantle HC (usually indicated for acutely inflamed hemorrhoids but it also goes with non-mucosal body parts).

S4:E6

Sheldon devises an ironclad alibi for Leonard

Leonard couldn't have spent last night with Priya because he was with another woman. The fun-loving and morally loose Miss Maggie McGarry. Leonard met her at Pasadena's most popular Irish watering hole, Lucky Baldwins where Maggie spends her nights tending bar with a head full of curls and a heart full of dreams.

Prop 1: a napkin with Maggie's telephone number on it.

Any if anyone were to actually call her number, they will hear this: Top of the morning to you. You've reached Maggie McGarry. Leave a message after the wee little beep. 

Prop 2: a lock of Maggie's flaming auburn hair (taken from an orangutan in the primate lab).

S4:E6

Mary Cooper's Born Again Boat Ride - a Christian themed cruise

Christian Quarterly gave it their highest rating: five thorny crowns.

Jonah and the Whale watching.

All you can eat Last Supper Buffet.

Gunning with God (you write your sins on a clay pigeon, they fire them up in the air and you pulverize them with a 12-gauge shot gun full of our Lord's forgiveness.

S5:E6

Sheldon's proposed weekend itinerary with his mother (Mary Cooper) when she came to visit 

~ Sheldon expected his mother to make him fried chicken.

What actually happened: Leonard took them both out for for sushi.

Comment from Mary: The sushi was good. The only thing that would have made it better if it was cooked and if it was beef.

~ Sheldon expected his mother to make him pecan pie.

What actually happened: His mum instructed him to make coffee for Raj who was hurting and drunk as a skunk.

~ Doing laundry together.

This was interrupted by Penny coming into the laundry room and needing some clothing/dating advice.

~ See Saul Perlmutter give a lecture about his Nobel Prize-winning work in cosmology and at the Q&A afterwards, Sheldon had worked up a couple of Qs that will stump his sorry A.

What actually happened: Mary did some sightseeing with Sheldon's friends (the Hollywood sign, the Wax Museum, the Walk of Fame; Rodeo Drive, Hollywood churches) whilst Sheldon attended the lecture with Amy.

What happened next: Sheldon catches a cold and is unwell. Mary takes care of her baby and agrees to make him tea with honey, and toast with the crust cut off; put VapoRub on his chest; and sing 'Soft Kitty'.

S5:E6

Star Wars questions posed to Mark Hamill before the start of Sheldon and Amy's wedding:

~ Rajesh asks: When you were on the Wookie home planet, how did you even understand what they were saying?

Mark answers: I don't remember ever being on a Wookie home planet.

Stuart says: Actually Luke was on the Wookie home planet Kashyyyk in the holiday special when he helped Chewie get home to his wife. Her name's Malla.

~ George asks: Why aren't there tyres on any of the Star Wars vehicles?

Mark answers: I'm sure some of them had tyres.

Stuart says: Actually they don't. The HAVw A5 turbo tank has metal gripping wheels but I wouldn't call them tyres.

S11:E24

Amy likes:

Harps

Little House on the Prairie

Medieval poetry

Medieval literature

Amy's opinion on Howard's musical choices:

Beatles - boring

Eminem - scary

Weird Al - how old are you?

Neil Diamond - loves

S7:E3

The Big Three Social Skills that Sheldon thinks he has mastered:

The coy smile

The friendly chuckle

The vocalisation of sympathy 

S7:E7

Sheldon's attempt at telling a joke:

A joke is a brief oral narrative with a climactic humourous twist. For example, Wolowitz's mother is so fat that she decided to go on a diet or exercise or both. The twist is that people don't normally change.

S7:E12

Item 28 - Sheldon's notarised list of pet names for Amy:

~ Gollum

~ Flaky

~ Princess Corncob

~ Fester

S7:E15

Sheldon and Leonard's address:

Apartment 4A, 2311 North Los Robles Avenue, Pasadena, California.

S6:E2

Coitus with Amy is frequent, intense and whimsically inventive:

For a whimsically inventive time, call Leonard Hofstadter.

S6:E14

Cinnamon's sleepover party with uncle Howard:

For breakfast she has an egg white frittata with a choice of home fries or English muffin; but not both.

For dinner, veal chop or scampi.

S6:E22

Reasons for Sheldon Cooper to move out suddenly at short notice:

• Change the contrast or brightness settings on the television
• Take a band-aid off in front of him
• Buy generic ketchup
• Forget to rinse the sink
• Talk to him through the bathroom door
• Adjust the thermostat
• Cook with cilantro
• Pronounce the T in 'often'
• Make fun of trains

S2:E1

Howard's case of travel colognes:

Top row: musks.

Second row: woods, leathers and botanicals.

Third row: assorted pheromones. Tread lightly.

S2:E21

Dinner at the North Pole 

Reconstituted Thai food with:

• Dehydrated low sodium soy sauce
• Freeze dried spicy mustard
• Flash frozen brown rice, not white

S2:E23

Mary Cooper's pre-dinner prayer

By His hand we are all fed

Give us Lord our daily bread

Please know that we are truly grateful

For every cup and every plateful

Amen

S3:E1

Mrs Wolowitz's Thanksgiving tur-briska-fil

Turkey stuffed with a brisket stuffed with a gefilte fish.

S3:E4

Mystic Warlords of Ka-ah

Warlord beats troll, troll beats elf, elf beats water-sprite and basically everything beats enchanted bunny. Unless you have the Carrot of Power.

S3:E5

Sheldon's four napkin system

Lap, hands, face and personal emergency.

Bonus guest napkin.

S3:E5

Sheldon's own board game

Research Lab: The physics is theoretical, but the fun is real.

Great rolls: your Department of Defence research grant is renewed. Now you can demolish your Soviet-style cyclotron and build the large hadron collider.

Other possible rolls: nuclear meltdown; industrial accident; you accidentally stare at a helium-argon laser, lose one turn and a retina.

S3:E7

Sheldon deems the following as the most mind numbing, pedestrian jobs conceivable:

1. Toll booth attendant
2. Apple store genius
3. What Penny does 

S3:E14

The SimCity that Sheldon designed: Sheldonopolis 

• Sheldon Square
• Sheldon Towers
• Sheldon Stadium - home of the fighting Sheldons
• Shel-Mart

S3:E18

Gossip according to Amy Farrah Fowler

Evolutionary biologist Robin Dunbar has identified gossip as an aid to social bonding in large groups and by not participating in gossip, society breaks down into feral bands of tattooed motorcycle riders fighting to the death over a few cans of tuna fish.

Meme Theory suggests that items of gossip are like living things that seek to reproduce using humans as their host. 

Amy and Sheldon's conducted a social science experiment on human beings by fabricating a tantilising piece of gossip and a second non-tantalising piece to use as a control. Then tracked it's progress through their social group and interpreted the results through the competing academic prisms such as memetic theory, algebraic gossip and epidemiology.

Example one: 

• Amy says to Penny: Sheldon and I engaged in sexual intercourse. In other news, I'm thinking of starting a herb garden. Mums the word. Gotta go. 

• Results: The false gossip meme appears to have reached full penetration in less than 24 hours.

Example two:

• Amy says to Penny: I'm getting orthotics. Also I'm carrying Sheldon's baby. Mums the word.

• Results: Penny sends Leonard a text message straight away to say that Amy is pregnant. No mention of the orthotics.

S4:E20

Sheldon's haircut records

Number three from the 1946 poster at Mr D'Onofrio's barbershop.

S5:E18

Cooper Coupons

• One free grammar check (you can use it for emails, letters, tattoos, what have you)

• An afternoon with Sheldon at the California Science Centre where he points out their mistakes

S5:E19

Things that Spider-Man can't do that a spider can according to Sheldon Cooper

1. Crawl in your ear and die 
2. Legally leave Guatemala without a passport
3. Have sex with a spider

S6:E10

Movies that killed their franchises

• Jaws 4
• Indiana Jones 4
• Daredevil 1
• Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

S6:E10

Sheldon gives Amy reasons why comic book night is not lame-o

a) Comic books employ storytelling through sequential art, a medium that dates back 17,000 years to the cave paintings of Lascaux.

b) You play the harp, like that's cool.

S5:E10

Reasons why Sheldon thinks he is a bigger deal at Caltech than Howard, thus deserving parking spot 294:

~ He has been solely responsible for this university's six-loop quantum gravity calculations.

~ He has changed the way we think about Bose-Einstein condensates.

~ He is also the one who got Nutter Butters in the cafeteria vending machine.

S6:E9

Sheldon wants to use the new Open Science Grid computer to run some simulations of structure formation in the universe

After making substantial progress in bonding with Kripke, Sheldon considers letting one of his friends go because maintaining five friendships promises to be a Herculean task.

Leonard: You are my room mate, my source of transportation and you help me fold my sheets when they come out if the dryer. You are safe.

Howard: You do not have a PhD your cologne is an assault on the senses and you're not available for video games during the Jewish High Holidays. You too, are safe.

Raj: You're out. While you do provide a certain cultural diversity to an otherwise homogenous group, your responses to the questionnaire were truly disturbing. How could you think for a moment that my favourite amino acid is glutamine?

However, after Sheldon finds out from Kripke that there is an official schedule to use the Open Science Grid computer and that he has no control over it, Sheldon realises his exercise to befriend Kripke was futile and allows Raj back into his friendship circle.

S02:E13

Sheldon's Preferred Table at Bombay Palace:

"That table is closer to the kitchen resulting in the food coming hotter and yet not so close to be distracting.

In the summer, the nearby air vent provides adequate cooling and in the winter it's protected from the outside air.

It's generally in the servers eye line making signalling more efficient.

I could go on but I think I've made my point..."


(Information derived from the un-aired original pilot of The Big Bang Theory).