Written by SHAMY Car Nerd
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11299589/1/The-Relationship-Agreement
The Relationship Agreement
Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper & Dr Amy Farrah Fowler
Owned & Maintained by Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper
Table of Contents
1.0: Social Constructs and Mutual Understandings
1.1: Introduction of the Relationship Between Sheldon and Amy
1.2: Dress Code and Behaviour Requirements
1.3: Social Conventions, Gatherings & Parties
1.4: Injuries & Maladies OR Booboos & Ouchies
1.5: Hand Holding
2.0: Conventions and Understandings of Dating
2.1: Date Night
2.2: Anniversaries / Designated Days
2.3: On the Principles of Dating
3.0: Necessities of Preparations for Potentially Harmful Happenings
3.1: Loss or Change of A Job for Either Party
3.2: Financial Stability
3.3: Apocalyptic Happenings Including Zombies and Dogs
4.0: Miscellaneous Happenings that May Occur
4.1: Inability to Comply with the Agreement
4.2: Termination of the Relationship Agreement
4.3: Traveling & Living Arrangements
4.4: Conclusion & Contact Information
Section 1: Social Constructs and Mutual Understandings
1.1: Introduction of the Relationship Between Sheldon and Amy
This clause has been put in place for both parties to acknowledge that they are in a full-time relationship, comprised of mutual admiration and respect, skewed slightly in an unnamed party's favour.
Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper from now on will be known as 'the boyfriend' and Dr Amy Farrah Fowler will be known as 'the girlfriend.'
Upon signing the document, both parties acknowledge that they are responsible for all clauses outlined within this piece of paperwork.
1.2: Dress Code and Behaviour Requirements
Both parties shall dress appropriately at all times in each other's presence. Appropriate clothing is what you would consider appropriate to wear to your mother's or Meemaw's house or, in extreme, pre - designated cases, what you would wear to church. Appropriate clothing must cover all of the body and leave only hands, head, and neck showing. Inappropriate clothing will be determined by Sheldon Cooper and, if considered in violation, result in a 3 - day ban from watching Star Wars, Star Trek, and Xbox.
Along with Dress Code comes the Hygienic Clause. Both must maintain appropriate hygiene. This includes daily bathing, brushing of the teeth at least twice a day, face and hand washing regularly, cutting of finger and toenails, shaving of face (applicable to only Sheldon), monthly trimming of hair, shining of shoes, etc. Both parties must look presentable and clean in public places.
Both parties must behave appropriately in public. Inappropriate behaviour includes: listening to loud music in one's vehicle, any type of affectionate display, singing, whistling, tapping of feet or hands, bobbing of head, shaking of hair, applying of makeup, eating with one's mouth open, frivolous money - spending, dancing of any form, laughing too loud, spitting, eating food too loud, typing and writing too loud, turning up the volume on one's phone game too loud, etc, are not appropriate. The appropriateness of the action shall be determined by Sheldon Cooper.
Both parties must smell like nothing. Literally nothing. The way to determine this is if animals trust you or not.
1.3: Social Conventions, Gatherings, and Parties
In acknowledgement that both parties are critically acclaimed scientists that will eventually need to attend conventions, gatherings, and parties for their field or university. Noting that none of the following clauses apply to non-career centric gatherings or parties, and rules will be determined by the collaboration of both parties should both agree to attend the non-career-centric gathering.
Both parties, as agreed in the prior Article, will dress appropriately to the occasion. Depending upon whom the party or gathering is being attended for, they will dictate the dress code upon that given day.
Both parties, as agreed in the prior Article, will carefully monitor their behaviour among their lessers and attempt to speak their primitive languages.
Any other party or gathering that is not scientific, as stated in Clause A, will be subject to scrutiny. If this gathering place or party has loud music, inappropriate clothing / dancing, excessive drinking, gambling, or un - godly things shall be prohibited immediately. The final decision shall be made by Sheldon Cooper.
1.4: Injuries & Maladies OR Booboos & Ouchies
Both parties are required to care for each other when either falls ill.
If one has a significant injury, the other must accompany to the hospital. No matter how much they are a germaphobe.
Even small injuries, such as boo boos and ouchies, the other must be present if one needs or requires the attention.
Both parties must learn 'Soft Kitty' by heart and sing it to each other when ill.
1.5: Hand Holding
In acknowledgement that hand holding is disgusting and unsanitary, and spread dangerous pathogens. It can also be interpreted as inappropriate behavior, as stated in Article III.
Hand Holding is ONLY ACCEPTABLE in the following circumstances:
- Either party is in danger of falling off a cliff, precipe, or ledge.
- Either party is deserving of a hearty handshake after winning a Nobel Prize.
- Moral support.
2.1: Date Night
As is social convention, the parties in question shall participate in 'Date Night' every second Thursday of the month, OR, in a month with 5 Thursdays, on the 3rd Thursday of that given month. Noting that no other dates shall take place in that month unless specifically prescribed by Sheldon Lee Cooper after at least 2 hours of deliberation upon the matter.
Both parties must not pout or be moody on date night, and must maintain a face of either pleasant amusement or polite agreeability.
No type of physical intimacy must take place outside of date night, should both parties agree to take their relationship to new levels, such as holding hands, hugging, etc.
Sheldon Cooper will only interact with Amy Farrah Fowler on a romantic level, and Amy Farrah Fowler will only interact with Sheldon Cooper on a romantic level. The discovery of involvement with any outside parties that do not include the above mentioned, will lead to the immediate suspension of the Relationship Agreement and may end in termination, as determined by Sheldon Cooper.
2.2: Anniversaries / Designated Days
Every year, on the Anniversary of Sheldon Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler's relationship, Sheldon must take Amy out to a nice restaurant and have casual physical contact that disinterested onlookers would liken to intimacy.
Every 4th Wednesday of the month shall be designated as 'Boyfriend–Girlfriend Sing–Along Night'. Sheldon will go to Amy's house, where both parties must actively participate in the sing – along until Sheldon's designated bedtime.
Every 2nd Tuesday of the month is the Sci–Fi Movie Watching Night where Amy must come over to Sheldon's apartment and watch Sci–Fi movies until Sheldon's designated bedtimes. Amy must not interject during the movie unless to ask a relevant question. Failure to comply to this will result in banishment to the kitchen.
Every other Saturday is designated as 'fun day', where, though NOT a date, Sheldon and Amy must spend at least an hour doing an activity together, regardless of what it may be. Noting that this activity must comply to all prior terms outlined in the Agreement.
Both parties must communicate for at least 20 minutes over Skype each week.
2.3: On the Principles of Dating
As with all other codes of conduct, principles of the maker and the signatories must be reflected within the document.
Noting that neither party shall engage in any outside relationships. Research shows that primates, humans – are monogamous in order to maintain evolutionary advantages. Thus, Sheldon and Amy shall simulate this research in order to publish paper upon the experiment in the future.
All other rules stated above apply. Failure to comply with these rules, and those listed below, may lead to the termination of the Relationship Agreement.
Section 3: Necessities of Preparations for Potentially Harmful Happenings
3.1: Loss or Change of A Job for Either Party
In acknowledgement that either party is subject to a potential, unforeseen job change or removal from the position they currently hold, this article is placed within the Agreement in order to make amends should this unlikely event occur.
In the case that a new income source is not established within two weeks of the termination of the job, then the party currently employed is obligated to assist the other with any financial needs that the unemployed party is unable to meet.
If either party should lose their job, it shall be the duty and obligation of the employed party to contact anyone at the University in which they work at and do all they can within their power in order to procure a new job in the field that the latter occupied so that they can continue employment at a university. Failure to do so may lead to changes and / or the termination of the Relationship Agreement.
If a party changes a place of employment, then they must inform the other party.
3.2: Financial Stability
As stated in the previous article, both parties much provide each other with financial aid in the case stable income is not there.
Should either party determine that the other is unable to continue to manage their own finances, they must:
a. Provide an accountant or financial advisor for their benefit
b. Work with them to develop a financial plan
c. In the worst case, take over their accounts & assets and manage them until the other party is able to manage their own finances.
3.3: Apocalyptic Happenings Including Zombies and Dogs
In the unlikely case that apocalyptic happenings should occur, both parties shall make provisions to ensure each others' survival in those situations.
Each party shall have an 'A – Z Survival Bag' which must contain the following items:
a. Emergency Mylar Blanket
b. Portable tent
c. Freeze – Dried food items
d. Survival tools (knife, spade, etc)
e. Matches
f. Butane torch
g. Cotton tinder
h. Sheldon Lee Cooper's approved First Aid Kit
i. Change of clothes
j. Jacket
k. Any necessities for their particular gender
l. Shoes
m. Sheldon Lee Cooper's Big Book of Rules
n. A copy of the Relationship Agreement
o. Emergency pouch water
q. Glowstick
r. Sheldon Lee Cooper's approved sanitation items
s. $100
t. Cellular Phone
u. Laptop
v. Mary Cooper's Jesus doll
w. Fishing kit
x. Emergency Whistle
y. Spock Compass
z. Tin foil
In the case of Zombie Apocalypse, both parties shall break into Penny's house and steal her shotgun, or raid the local weapons store in order for protection. Both parties acknowledge that they must read Sheldon Lee Cooper's Guide to Zombies at least once and have watched the Walking Dead at least 3 times (all seasons, no cheating).
In the case of intelligent dog uprising, both parties shall ditch the rest of humanity and take off for a cave in the hills. Both parties shall stock up on chocolate because chocolate is terrible for dogs. Should the rest of humanity catch up to the parties, they shall build a time machine and teleport to the future.
In the case of an alien invasion, both parties shall discuss allying with the aliens depending upon their hostility level. Sheldon Cooper shall make the final decision. Should both parties agree to speak to the aliens, both must undergo scientific tests by them in exchange for performing scientific tests upon the aliens. Should the parties find the extra-terrestrials' home planet pleasing, they may consider returning with them.
In the case that a superbacteria, superbug, or super parasite should take over and infect the world, both parties shall quarantine themselves in order to prevent infection. Quarantine chambers are located in a secret room at CalTech with enough provisions for quarantine for one year. Should both parties be disease free after one year, they are allowed to resume normal life, unless the world has been destroyed.
Should either party invent time travel it is their obligation to return to five minutes from when this contract was presented in order to inform their past counterparts of the circumstances of the future.
Drills & Emergency tests shall be performed regularly in order to ensure full preparedness for any happenings. These will be determined by Sheldon Cooper, to begin on a bi–weekly basis.
Section 4: Miscellaneous Happenings that May Occur
4.1: Inability to Comply with the Agreement
Should either party be unable to comply with the set agreement, it may be terminated, as determined by Sheldon Lee Cooper.
Inability to comply can fall under two categories: either knowingly and willfully breaking any of the clauses set down in the agreement, OR the termination of the agreement due to the termination of the relationship between Sheldon Lee Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler. This shall be determined by consensus and the parties in question shall further discuss how the relationship will move forward.
4.2: Termination of the Relationship Agreement
Should both parties be willing to terminate the agreement (or as seen fit by Sheldon Lee Cooper) they shall sign below:
Sheldon Cooper, PhD
Amy Fowler, PhD
4.3: Traveling & Living Arrangements
Travelling plans & dates shall be released to the other party (if travelling separately) at least 72 hours prior to the trip (unless a designated emergency, such as the death of one's MeeMaw, shall be determined by Sheldon Lee Cooper)
If travelling anywhere out of Pasadena or Los Angeles County, vaccination records shall be released and the party travelling shall note any native diseases which they may bring back.
Should any foreign bacteria, virus, prion, parasite, insect, neural disease, etc be brought back, the party in question shall be quarantined / hospitalized. Termination of the Agreement may be discussed.
Both parties shall sleep in separate rooms, or, if the situation not allowing, in separate beds. Neither party is allowed to stay over at each other's apartments unless special circumstances including Apocalypse, intelligent Dog uprising, etc.
Should either party move or be subject to different living arrangements they must notify the other party as soon as possible.
4.4: Conclusion & Contact Information
In conclusion, all clauses remain standing for the relationship between Sheldon Lee Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler. All apply at all times of the day.
Sheldon Lee Cooper can be reached at: coopers
Amy Farrah Fowler can be reached at: fowlera
Signatures of the above:
Sheldon Cooper, PhD
Amy Fowler, PhD
______
