Thursday 1 September 2011

Wouldn't It Be Great If...

Willy Wonka's chewing-gum meal was made into reality.
It would be the greatest and most fascinating invention - a whole three course dinner in a tiny strip of gum. It will change everything. It will be the end of all kitchens and all cooking! There will be no more shopping to do! No more buying of meat and groceries! There will be no more knives and forks at mealtimes! No plates! No washing up! No rubbish! No mess!

Just a little strip of Wonka's magic chewing-gum and that's all you'll ever need at breakfast, lunch and dinner! The prototype created in the book happens to be tomato soup, roast beef and blueberry pie. If you were to start chewing it then that is exactly what you get on the menu. You can actually feel the food going down your throat and into your tummy! And you can taste it perfectly! And it fills you up! It satisfies you!


* Inspired by Dahl, Roald (1985) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory London: Puffin Books *


The power to teleport safely was made possible.
Currently, teleportation is the fictional process of moving matter from one point in time and space to another point in time and space instantaneously without physically crossing the space in-between.


Think of the time and money you will save! No need to buy travel tickets. No more jet-lag.


Rapid cellular regeneration was possible.
The ability to regenerate cells at an increased rate, resulting in physical injuries healing in a matter of seconds or minutes.

Think of the character Claire Bennet from Heroes.


The sonic screwdriver and psychic paper were real items.
The sonic screwdriver is a fictional, multi functional tool used by The Doctor in Doctor Who. It can be used as a lock pick; a medical scanner; remote device controller; alien life tracker; computer hacker and so on.

Psychic paper is an apparently blank prop kept in a credit card or travel pass holder. It allows those holding it to show people whatever they want to see on the card. It can apparently unlock electronic pass readers and record transit fares. Psychic training is required so that users are not susceptible to psychic paper. It apparently does not work on those of very high intelligence.


Fattypuff lunch menus were the norm.

For example:
Marapuff Oysters
Puff Soup
Lobster Fattyborough
Fattypuff Steak


Lembas / waybread really existed.
Very thin cakes made of a meal that was baked a light brown on the outside and inside was the colour of cream. Eat little at a time and only at need. For these things are given to serve you when all else fails. The cakes will keep sweet for many many days, if they are unbroken and left in their leaf-wrappings. One will keep a traveller on his feet for a day of long labour, even if he be one of the tall men of Minas Tirith.


Elvish robes really existed.
Hooded cloak made of the light but warm silken stuff that the Galadhrim wove. Each cloak fastened with a brooch like a green leaf veined with silver. Leaf & branch, water & stone: they have the hue and beauty of all these things under the twilight of Lorien. They are light to wear, and warm enough or cool enough at need. A great aid in keeping out the sight of unfriendly eyes.


Bilbo Baggins invited you to a tea party.
There is bound to be:
Seed cake
Buttered scones
Raspberry jam
Apple tart
Mince pies
Cheese
Pork pie
Salad
Cold chicken
Pickles

Served with:
Tea
Red wine
Ale
Porter
Coffee


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