Twenty One Years Later...

1996:
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose life.


2017:
Choose life. Choose designer lingerie in the vain hope of kicking some life back into a dead relationship. Choose handbags, choose high-heeled shoes, cashmere and silk to make yourself feel what passes for happy.
Choose an iPhone made in China by a woman who jumped out of a window and stick it in the pocket of your jacket fresh from a South Asian firetrap. Choose Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram and a thousand others ways to spew your bile across people you've never met. Choose updating your profile, tell the world what you had for breakfast and hope that someone, somewhere cares. Choose looking up old flames, desperate to believe that you don't look as bad as they do. Choose live-blogging, from your first wank till your last breath; human interaction reduced to nothing more than data. Choose Ten Things You Never Knew About Celebrities Who've Had Surgery. Choose screaming about abortion, choose rape jokes, slut-shaming, revenge porn and an endless tide of depressing misogyny. Choose 9/11 never happened, and if it did, it was the Jews. Choose a zero-hour contract and a two hour journey to work, and choose the same for your kids, only worse, and maybe tell yourself that it's better that they never happened. And then sit back and smother the pain with an unknown dose of an unknown drug made in somebody's​ fucking kitchen. Choose unfulfilled promise and wishing you'd done it all differently. Choose never learning from your own mistakes. Choose watching history repeat itself. Choose the slow reconciliation towards what you can get, rather than what you always hoped for. Settle for less and keep a brave face on it. Choose disappointment and choose losing the ones you love, then as they​ fall from view, a piece of you dies with them until you can see​ that one day in the future, piece by piece they will​ be all gone and there will be nothing left of you to call alive or dead. Choose your future, Veronica. Choose life.



* This post was created in honour of Trainspotting 2 which came out in January 2017 *

Singing in the Imperial Gardens

The Story of Yanxi Palace Soundtrack


~ 1) Look (看) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62uuVE4FwTE&t=74s

這一杯寂寞的酒
This cup of lonely wine

把春意澆上了頭
Pouring spring time over the head

恍惚間那些溫柔
That gentleness lost in thought

再一次和我相守
Once more stays with me

模糊了堆積的愁
Piled up anxiety blurs

看歲月留了又走
Watch the years stay and go

每一夜痛的理由
The reason for the pain every night

是曾經忘掉的優
Is the worry that was once forgotten

這一首殘留的詩
The remains of this broken poem

捅破了窗戶的紙
Puncturing the paper windows

幻想著你的影子
Imagining your shadow

包裹著我的相思
Wrapping all of my thoughts

曾經的縷縷情絲
The threads of past passions

鎖不住一生一世
Can't lock for a lifetime

如今都變成各自

Having now each become their own

遺忘的陳年舊事
Forgotten happenings of the past



~ 2) Sighs of the Palace Walls (紅牆嘆) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdxKy-keM7w&t=0s&list=FLySKyX52WCx9wpqZX3XGJnw&index=4

紫禁圍紅牆
Red walls enclose the forbidden palace

情為所居良
Love is good within

斷垣塗夕陽
Broken ruins paint the sunset

一折舊夢涼
And with a flip, old dreams cool

枯葉掩疏窗
Dead leaves cover shuttered windows

誰念秋風涼
Who thinks of the autumn wind?

怎知流光逝年華
How does one know the passing time has turned into years

獨身寄盼重門深鎖
Solitary, hoping for heavy doors to bolt

修得玉色又如何
So much for refined jade

花待堪折別問因果
Flowers waiting to be picked without reason

莫等空枝隨風落
Don't wait for empty branches to fall with the wind

盼與他共剪燭西窗下
Wishing to trim the candle together with him under the west window

空惆悵亦惘然牽掛
Empty worries and disappointing nostalgia

誰憐她譜一生的淒涼
Who pity her for the bleakness of her life

浮華夢一場
All but a dream of luxury




~ 3) The Sound of Snow Falling (雪落下的聲音) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBH7JY3Ldgk&list=FLySKyX52WCx9wpqZX3XGJnw&index=2

輕輕，落在我掌心，
Lightly, falling on the centre of my palm

靜靜，在掌中結冰。
Softly, crystallizing in my palms

相逢，是前世註定，
Meeting each other is our karmic fate

痛並，把快樂嘗盡。
And hurting, brings out the utmost taste of happiness

明明，話那麼寒心，
Clearly, this talk is so chilling

假裝，那只是叮嚀。
Pretending, that is it only a warning

淚盡，也不能相信，
Exhausting tears, still not believing

此生，如紙般薄命。
This life, is as bleak as thin paper

我慢慢地聽，雪落下的聲音，
I slowly listen to the sound of falling snow

閉著眼睛幻想它不會停，
Closing my eyes and imagining that it will never end

你沒辦法靠近，決不是太薄情，
You cannot get close, but certainly not unfaithful

只是貪戀窗外好風景。
Only yearning for the beautiful views outside



~ 4) Forgetting About Each Other (相忘) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ow7ncnesR8

依稀相逢花影亂
A faint encounter with the shadow of the flower

往日翩翩眷情入耳眠
In the old days, sleep in the ear.

與君初心遙許意相伴
With June first heart remote with the meaning of

憑相思捱寒夜漫漫
It’s a long night with Acacia

怎道情深卻緣淺
How deep is the truth

心鎖深庭流光難回挽
Heart lock deep court flow pull

他人妒我紅妝枕畔溫暖
Someone else is jealous of my red makeup and the warmth of my pillow

轉身喟歎淚濕青衫
Turn gee exclaims tears wet blouse

可知誰還貪戀著一時繾綣

You know who's still greedy in a moment affectionate

幾多情終化作癡纏
A few affectionate eventually turned into an idiot pestering

若使別離斬斷牽絆
Lepers don't leave blades grieving stumbling

夢深處相忘亦難
It's hard to forget the deep dream

可知誰還貪戀這情深意重
You know who's still in love, greedy

任心緒翻湧於夢中 
Gincent flocked in his dreams

榮華安身似忘苦痛
Glorious haven seems to forget the pain

夢醒時不復新愁
When you wake up you don't have new worries

待到煙滅灰飛月白霜冷
Until the smoke is ash, the moon is cold

一念愛一念恨
A love, a thought, a hate

一念成空
One read into emptiness



~ 5) Willows of the Palace (宮牆柳) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wuo57o20Qww

宮牆柳 玉搔頭
A willow by the palace wall, a jade hairpin,

纖纖紅酥手
Slender rosy soft hands.

寂寞酒 鎖春愁
The wine of solitude locks away the sorrows of spring.

往事難開口
It is hard to speak about matters of the past.

揮揮衣袖帶不走
A flourish of the sleeve cannot carry away

相思那堪憂
That bleak "yearning"?

一覺黃粱夢醒後
After waking up from a pipe dream,

閒話到白頭
The gossip will last into old age!

宮牆柳 隨風走
The willow by the palace wall follows the wind,

一步一叩首
Kowtowing once for every step.

愛悠悠 恨悠悠
Love is long-lasting, hate is long-lasting;

作繭自己囚
[I] make a cocoon and imprison [my]self.

誰說恩愛永不朽
Who said that love endures for all of eternity?

碎了千金裘
Having torn apart the fur coat worth a thousand in gold,

一夢醉倒望江樓
[I] dream that [I'm] intoxicated at the River Viewing Pavilion.

管他萬古愁
Who cares about those worries that have lasted through the ages.



* English translations and Chinese lyrics were provided by online sources *

Smell Hound

DG's Most Complimented Fragrances of 2018/2019

~ Eternity by Calvin Klein

~ Au The Rouge by Bvlgari

~ Truth by Calvin Klein
~ Pleasures by Estee Lauder

~ Ivoire (EDP) by Balmain

~ English Rose by Yardley combined with Fikkert's Rose Figuier hand cream.



* This list is subject to change at any time *