Friday, 1 November 2013

From the Mouth of Jeeves

"Distressingly wilful" - (describing his walk with Aunt Agatha's dog).

"Pardon me for asking sir, but are you proposing to appear in public in those garments?".

"In order to qualify as Miss Wickham's husband, the gentleman should be possessed with a demanding personality and considerable strength of character".

"Jealousy is undoubtedly a powerful motivating energy, sir".

"In that case, I fear I must give my notice" - (when faced with the fact that Mr Wooster intends to play 'that instrument' within the narrow confines of a country cottage).

"I cannot abandon the stand which I have taken".

"It's said to originate, sir, with the entertainment got up on the cotton plantations of the New World by the slaves employed on those facilities, in order to express joy and happiness at their lot. An unlikely contingency, one surmises, bearing in mind their situation" - (when Mr Wooster asks him why it's necessary for minstrel fellows to blacken their faces in order to play the banjo and sing songs).

"Except for the eye of love, one Aberdeen terrier looks very much like another".

"It seems to be a reasonably straightforward syncopated five four time signature".

"Since time immemorial, it has fallen to the Gallic races to bring civilisation to the rude northerly provinces of their empire" - (persuading chef Anatole to return to Brinkley Court).

"Veloute aux fleurs de courgette".

"Pardon me for intervening sir, but perhaps it would alleviate the ethical pressure you find yourself under if I, were to open the communication and read it out loud".

"I hesitate to contradict you Mr Spode but the working masses and I have barely a nodding acquaintance. Good afternoon."

"Travel is highly educational, sir" - (attempting to convince Mr Wooster to go on a round-the-world cruise).

"Gentlemen do not wear straw hats in the metropolis".

"The first truly rideable machine was made by a Mr Kirkpatrick MacMillan of Dumfriesshire in Scotland in 1839, I believe, sir" - (when Mr Wooster asks him who invented the bicycle).

"The approved method is to cut a small square of brown paper roughly to the equivalent to the pane of glass, smear it in treacle and then..." - (advising Mr Wooster how to break a window silently).

"It is as well to know what tune the devil is playing" - (justifying his recent knowledge of the Communist ideals).

"I endeavour to give satisfaction, sir".





* Information derived from Jeeves and Wooster *

Postcards to Jeeves

Postcards written by Bertie Wooster to his valet Jeeves as he travels across America with the cast of 'Ask Dad' - a Broadway musical.


Lackawanna, New York to Chattanooga, Tennessee:
Well, we're off on our travels, Jeeves. Blasted tricky business what they call "hunting" in these parts; they do it without horses. Managed to wing a forest ranger the other day, however. Show is a sellout everywhere. My log cabin marked with an X.


Tallahassee, Florida:
Westward, ever westward, Jeeves. We're all having a whale of a time, especially Cyril Bassington-Bassington. My sleeping-car marked with an X.


Palestine, Texas:
Show doing famously, Jeeves. I must say, the horses out here are rather excitable. The local lads are rather excitable too. I've had to buy a few new clothes, I'm afraid, but I'm sure you'll approve. My bunkhouse marked with an X.


Nevada, Missouri to Rapid City, South Dakota:
This card shows a picture of the Rockies, Jeeves. They're mountains, as you can see. Dashed rocky they are, too. My rock marked with an X.


Crazy Mountains, Montana:
This is the life, Jeeves. Not a fish in sight and boots slowly filling with iced water. I did catch a couple of trout the other day. One of them looked exactly like Oofy Prosser. You don't suppose the Oofys hail from Montana, do you? My teepee marked with an X.


Walla Walla, Washington:
I've now seen 'Ask Dad' six billion and blasted two times, Jeeves (or is it six billion and blasted three?) and still no blasted sign of a blasted Broadway theater. My seat in the blasted orchestra stall marked with a blasted X.

PS, I really think I might leave the show and totter home soon.





*Information for this post were derived from Jeeves and Wooster (Series 3, Episode 3) * 

Subversion Through Scent Part III

The Potential Nominations for Domestic Goblin's Holy Grail Fragrances are:

~ Bvlgari Eau Parfumée au Thé Vert Cologne
A quiet scent that is safe and inoffensive to wear, even amongst the most delicate of noses. 

~ Lime Basil & Mandarin by Jo Malone
A cheerful, uplifting citrus with great outdoor projection.

~ Mitsouko Eau de Parfum by Guerlain
Do not wear this scent if you can not handle the infatuation that follows...
"Nobody ever died from wearing Mitsouko, but lots of babies were born as a result of it" - Luca Turin.

~ Perle de Mousse by Ann Gerard
A delicate, beautiful floral.

~ L'instant de Guerlain Eau de Parfum by Guerlain
Fleeting moments of enlightenment.

~ Pleasures Eau de Parfum by Estee Lauder
Uplifting winter floral.



Other possible contenders:

~ Violetta Eau de Toilette by Penhaligon's
A lovely scent of violet leaves and violet flower. Powdery, sweet and green.

~ 4711 Original Eau de Cologne
An iconic medicinal citrus.

~ No. 5 Eau Premiere by Chanel
My inner-goth wanted to ignore this mainstream masterpiece.


Intrigued by:

~ Organza Indecence by Givenchy
Described as a cloud of joy.

~ Chamade Eau de Parfum by Guerlain
Described as a homage to the moment when the heart surrenders to love...


Ever wanted to know what Domestic Goblin's first perfume was? Click here to find out.