Pervert Parade

Lyrics to some of Phoebe Buffay's songs

~ The Blackout ~

New York City has no power

And the milk is getting sour

But to me it is not scary

Cos I stay away from dairy

La-la la la-la-la-la la-la

~ Babies ~

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch

Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much 

Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why You cry and you cry and you cry 

And you cry and you cry and you cry...

~ Smelly Cat ~
Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault.
They wont take you to the vet, you're obviously not their favorite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses and your're no friend of those with noses.
Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault!

~ Two of Them Kissed Last Night ~

There was a girl we'll call her Betty

And a guy lets call him Neal

Now I can't stress this point too strongly

This story isn't real...

...Now our Neal must decide

Who will be the girl that he casts aside

Will Betty be the one who he loves truly

Or will it be the one who we'll call Loolie?

He must decide! He must decide!

Even though I made him up 

He must decide!

~ Grandparents ~

Now grandma's a person who everyone likes

She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike

But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner

And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner

Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru

But the truth is she died and someday you will too

La-la la la la la la-la la-la la la

~ Another Thing You Don't Wanna Do ~

There'll be times when you get older

When you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you, but don't!

Cos that's another thing that you don't wanna do

That's another thing that you don't wanna do!

~ Barnyard Animals ~

Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo

Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo

Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up and thats how we get hamburgers!

~ Sometimes ~

Sometimes men love women

Sometimes men love men

Then there are bisexuals

But some just say they're kidding themselves 

~ Holiday Song ~
Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap
Said all you need is to write them a song
Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along
No don't sing along
Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy
And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler! 

~ Sticky Shoes ~
My favourite shoes so good to me, I wear them everyday
Down at the heel, holes in the toe, don't care what people say
My feet's best friend, pals to the end, with them I'm one hot chicky
Though late one night, not much light, I stepped in something icky
Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, always makes me smile
Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, next time I'll avoid the pile!


~ In The Shower ~
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And tegrin spelled backward is nirget.
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
As needed!  


~ The Snowman ~
I made a man with eyes of coal
and a smile so bewitchin
How was i supposed to know
that my mom was dead in the kitchen?
La la la la la la la la la la la...


~ Two Heart Attacks ~
It only takes two heart attacks
To finally make you see
One of them won't do it
But the second will set you free
Tell all your hate and anger
It's time to say good bye
And that is just what I will do
As soon as those bastards I work for die
Lalalalalalalalalala...