Saturday, 1 November 2025

Frivolous October

In October 2025, the Domestic Goblin treated herself to three items from Victoria Beckham Beauty.

Perhaps it was the Netflix documentary that motivated DG to show some support for our former Posh Spice or perhaps she's just worth it.


~ Satin Kajal Eyeliner in Cocoa
Described as a creamy, smudge-free and waterproof kajal eyeliner in a high performing, decadent rich matte brown colour.

DGs comments: Does what it says on the tin.

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The perfumes were rather pricey so the Domestic Goblin opted to buy the hand creams that are infused with the scent instead. 


~ Portofino '97 Hand Cream
Inspired by the Italian seaside.
Notes include: Calabrian, bergamot, black pepper, white sheets, incense, amber, patchouli and vetiver. 

DGs comments: A non-greasy hand cream with a faint scent of vetiver. 

Although an enjoyable hand cream to use, there are much more affordable options with similar performance.

Will not repurchase due to size of tube and price.


~ 21:50 RĂªverie Hand Cream
The luxuriant ambience of Java nights.
Notes include: Tobacco leaves, plum, vanilla pods, tonka beans and cedarwood.

DGs comments: A non-greasy hand cream with a faint scent of chocolate digestives biscuits. 

Although an enjoyable hand cream to use, there are much more affordable options with similar performance.

Will not repurchase due to size of tube and price.


~ Bonus Green Velvet Pochette 
This was the best part of the purchase and it was free.


Overall verdict on Victoria Beckham Beauty: Good quality products but too pricey and not enough wow factor to continue repurchasing.


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Satsuma and Avocado

Search for Satsuma 

Chocolate and orange velveteen served with clotted cream

Maybe the ducks knew the secret of the cave
Go and fuck a puppet on the moon

The only thing that reminds me of James Corden is folded pizza

Anaglypta wallpaper
Huge warm watermelon
It never got much hotter than a Labrador's belly
Liquid beef

Corn cob dongle

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Avocado Scholar

Viva tomatoes 
Apple and launderette 
Skinny parsnip-legged denim jeans
A less hectic brew
Death by budget mince
Pound shop gangster
Do limpets drink coffee?
Ron Walker's Magic Drops
A small coffee and a slice of Battenberg


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Found poem inspired by 'The Satsuma Complex' and 'The Hotel Avocado' both written by Bob Mortimer


Smelling Zara

Dark Romance
Notes: Jasmine flowers, Chantilly cream, tonka bean, toffee and vanilla.
DGs verdict: Polite sweet milk tea. Won't repurchase.


Cocoa & Latte
Notes: White chocolate, whipped cream and white suede.
DGs verdict: Weak milkshake. Won't repurchase.


A Sweet Pastry in Paris
Notes: Fresh lemon, sweet sugar cane and velvety vanilla.
DGs verdict: Nutty lemon meringue cake.


Fashionably London
Notes: Bergamot, rose and musk.
DGs verdict: All musk and no rose according to DGs nose. Non-binary rose. Won't repurchase.


Magnificently Dubai
Notes: Bergamot, saffron, oud, leather and vanilla.
DGs verdict: Headache inducing incense. Won't repurchase.


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