The Legends of Greemulax written and illustrated by K.C. Schmidt

A young adult fantasy book with a positive message about how boys should treat girls. There will be dragons and monsters and the monsters live inside them and try to trick them! All on a planet called Greemulax.

A real good message for boys. There's a little monster inside you, and most of the time, you're friends, but when it gets mad or hungry or thinks it deserves something that belongs to someone else, it tries to take over your body.

Suitable for kids aged 7 and over.

Featuring female knights called Rainbow Knights - a play on Rainbow Brite

The inspirational message of female empowerment.

The first step towards fixing the world is remembering the good inside you is stronger than the bad.

A magic trolley - science we haven't discovered yet.

An allegory for gender politics.

Character names include: Exthipianne Porheep (based on Xanthippe Vorhees); Turdgun the Pudding Man (based on Titus); Queen Lorianne the Wobbly (based on Kimmy's mum).

Do they ever escape Greemulax? Do the boys figure out how to control their monsters? Why does society keep feeding the monsters?

It turns out that Greemulax is just a mirage created by the Grabagorns. Each boy is born with a key inside him to tame his own monster! That's their one weakness!

* Information taken from 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt *

Kimmy Rings Tia Donna Maria

Taco Snake sings 12 days of Christmas: 

🎵On the nth day of Christmas, my Tia gave to me🎵

Twelve lifelong dining memories

Eleven soda refills

Ten items from the gift shop

Fla a a a an

Eight more margaritas

Seven choice of toppings

Six reasonably priced entrees

Five mole sauce

Four mariachis

Three chips and salsas

Two margaritas

And a nachos platter for the table

Nachos de Jesus recipe

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Take a party-sized bag or Tia Donna Maria's Fiesta Flavoured Nachos Chip-aritas and place on a cookie tray.

Generously sprinkle Tia Donna Maria's Queso Mexicano for Jesus' furry beard.

Cut a black olive in half to make Jesus' kind and loving eyes, full of forgiveness.

Place nachos Jesus in the oven for eight- ten minutes or wait until Jesus' edges are bubbly.

Diarrhea related emergency

We apologise for your diarrhea related emergency.

If you believe your mass does not conform to any known Bristol scale classification, please whang up immediately and text a picture of it to the University of Bristol, Biology Department at country code 44 0117 394 121.

Stay hydrated muchachos!

* Information tooken from Kimmy vs The Reverend *

28 April 1876

Is it your habit, sir, to simply enter a conversation without introduction?

The meal is the result of reflection and study. Menus are prepared in advance and timed to perfection. It is said without the culinary arts, the crudeness of reality would be unbearable.

You shake and shake the ketchup bottle. None will come and then a lot'll.

Perhaps one day when you have awoken from a pleasant slumber to the scent of a warm brioche smothered in marmalade and fresh creamery butter, you'll understand that life is not soley composed of tasks, but tastes.

Do you require a chaperone? His intentions are obvious.

If we were courting, as a matter if honour, I would have informed you of my intentions in writing.

I warn you scoundrel, I was trained to ride at the Kings Academy and schooled in weaponry by the palace guards. You stand no chance. When you run, I shall ride. When you stop, the steel of this strap will be lodged in your brain.

Basement at the Louvre; unspoiled by dilettante.

Merry Andrew.

No one wants to be romanced by a buffoon.

You admired her but hesitant to make an overture since you were told she was courting another.

Overture: make your intentions known. Think of pleasing her, not vexing her.

Some feel, that to court a woman in ones employ is nothing more than a serpentine effort to transform a lady to a whore.

No, not a serpent. That's too grand a word. Simply a braggart and a cad.

Dearest Catherine,

I behaved as an imbecile last night. Animated in part by drink, in part by your beauty and in part by my own foolish pride. For that I am profoundly sorry. Please accept as a gesture of my apology, a private dinner on the rooftop tonight at eight o'clock.

Orange lily implies hatred.

Lavender implies danger.

Begonia implies uspicion.

Amaryllis or cabbage rose declares the recipient a most splendid beauty.

You've made an impression on me.

Nine-grain toast with strawberries and mascarpone.

* Quotes taken from the film: Kate & Leopold *